The house is quiet when I get home and it takes everything out of me not to rock the boat. Had it not been for Serena sleeping soundly, I would have woken Griffin up for round… whatever. It’s almost three in the morning before I drop into bed next to Serena and pull her warm body towards mine, which to my disappointment is not bare.
“You’re not asleep.” I murmur in her ear, having known what it means for Serena to be truly asleep. First and foremost, her body melts into mine the second I wrap my arms around her. A sigh usually leaves her lips, and sometimes she turns in her sleep so her head can rest on my chest. So, for her not to move, I know she’s awake and furthermore, something’s wrong.
“I was close,” she says as she turns in my arms. It’s dark, so I can’t see her face and, for some reason, it worries me.
“How was he when he got home?”
She clears her throat. “Fine.” Her voice is raspy and I wonder briefly if she’s been crying. Fuck.
I move over her and reach for the light on the bedside table. She squints when the area around us is illuminated and my heart constricts in my chest. Just as I thought, her face is red-tinged and her eyes are glassy. “Baby, what happened? Why are you upset?”
“Nothing! I’m not upset, I swear.” She shakes her head and reaches for the lamp to turn it off when I grab her hand and bring it to my lips.
“Serena.”
“I’m just really tired that’s all. It’s late.” Lie. She reaches up and presses a kiss to my lips before she wiggles out of my hold and shrouds the room in darkness again.
She turns on her side away from me, and I stare at her back for I don’t know how long before I pull her into my arms and fall into a restless sleep.
A familiar perfume and the smell of mint infiltrate my senses and pulls me from sleep. I manage to open my eyes just as Serena sits next to me on the bed. “Hi, honey.” She gives me a sad smile before she presses her lips to mine. “I have to go.”
I grab my phone off the nightstand, knowing it has to be early but also knowing she doesn’t have class on a fucking Saturday. “Why?”
“I have to get to the library. I have an exam before Thanksgiving break and a paper due the week after.”
“It’s early. Stay. Do it here,” I urge her. I can see her shutting down and I want to be there to calm all her fears. We’d made love while Griffin was gone, and everything was fine when I left. Something fucking happened when I wasn’t here.
“I don’t have all the books I need. Landon, it’s school.” She shakes her head at me like I’m the one overreacting and running.
“Baby, if this is about Griff—”
“It’s not. But you should talk to him.”
“Because that works out so well every time I try? Serena, please don’t run from me. I know I have baggage, but…” Jana left me, even before she filed for divorce. She left me the second she let another man stick his dick inside of her. The second she gave her heart and everything else to someone that wasn’t me. Since then, I had never gotten close enough to a woman to give them a chance to leave me. But Serena…Serena leaving would destroy me.
“That’s not what this is about. I really just have to go.” I can tell she’s still wearing my t-shirt under her jacket and seeing her in my clothes makes me feel like she’s taking it as some sort of parting gift.
“Really? Because it feels like you’re leaving me.” I throw the covers off of me and stand up. “What happened?” I raise my voice.
“Can you not yell? It’s early and we’re not…alone.”
“Do you think I give a shit?” I demand.
“You should give a shit, Landon.” She snaps, but her eyes tell me she regrets it. She lets out a sigh. “He’s your son.”
Just as I thought. Definitely about yesterday. “And you’re mine. He’s going to have to accept that.”
“Okay.” She shrugs sadly and this indifference is starting to piss me the fuck off.
“Why are you being like this?”
“Like what? You’re the one throwing a tantrum because I can’t stay here all day with you. I have shit to do, Landon!” she snaps and it feels like a punch to the gut. I have shit to do too. All the time. I just make time for you despite all that.
“Fine.” I’m standing next to the door, refusing to look at her with my arms crossed over my chest as she gets off the bed and makes her way towards me.
She stands in front of me and puts her hands on my arms. “Can I have a kiss?” I don’t look at her as I lean forward and press my lips to her forehead, knowing that if I looked into her eyes or kiss her lips I’ll probably drop to my knees and beg her to stay. “Okay then.”
“Bye Serena.”