Chapter Twelve
It had been super awkward when Carter had come to pick the boys up and found them playing video games with Eric while she took a rest on the couch. Eric had tried to talk her into laying down in the bedroom so the noise wouldn’t bother her but when she’d insisted on staying with them in the living room, he’d backed off.
It would’ve been nice to be curled up in her bed with the curtains drawn to keep out the light and the door shut to dull the yells that always accompanied the boys playing with the X-Box, and it wasn’t that she didn’t trust Eric alone with them. But Carter would freak when he arrived if she wasn’t there, and it was easier to deal with the physical pain and stomach upheaval than it was his yelling. Which was saying something, and it wasn’t anything good.
Now though they were back at Eric’s quiet house and he’d carried her upstairs, changed her into another thin cotton gown—a yellow one this time with ducklings and lambs and bows all over it—and then repeated everything he’d done last night: started an IV, took her temperature and gave her medicine and the nutrition solution in her backside, and then put her in a diaper.
It felt less awkward than it had last night, maybe because even if she didn’t understand it, Devaney did believe Eric wanted to take care of her like this. He’d had every opportunity to get rid of her if he’d wanted to, but here she was, tucked under bright white linens in this strange room with Eric sitting down on the mattress and setting a sippy cup on the bedside table.
“The IV will give you all the fluids you need so you don’t have to drink anything, but if your mouth is dry or you feel like you can take a few sips without getting sick, you can.”
“’Kay,” she murmured, feeling at once more comfortable and relaxed than she had in months—save the insistent throb of her skull of course—but also self-conscious.
Eric’s brows drew together as he studied her. Even in the dim light, his mahogany-eyed gaze was so intense she had to look down at her fingers, although she looked up again when he slid one of his warm hands over hers.
“What’s up, buttercup? You look uncomfortable.”
“I—” She blew a breath out her nose and tried to gather her thoughts. “I like being here with you. I like you taking care of me, but I…”
How could she explain? Devaney glanced up at Eric, expecting him to huff an impatient sigh or roll his eyes, anything to let her know she was getting on his nerves but he was sitting there, expression open and warm. Just…waiting for her.
“I feel weird about it?” she offered, feeling her forehead wrinkle like she was unsure. To be fair, she was. She’d never done anything like this. “I’m a grown-up and I’m not like hospital sick so I should take care of myself. And it’s really embarrassing but…”
Her stomach lurched and not in the puking-was-imminent kind of way. No, she was past the danger of actually throwing up although the nausea hadn’t completely gone away. It was mortification that was making her queasy. But maybe Eric would make her feel better instead of worse. Wouldn’t that be something? And if he didn’t, she could leave. She didn’t have her car and she shouldn’t really be spending money on a cab but if worse came to worse…Ugh, shoulders back and chin up, Devaney. Use your big girl words.
“Mostly I feel sick because—” She waved toward her head. “But it feels really good when you hold me and pet me.”
“That feels really good to me too,” he replied with a squeeze to her hands.
He was so kind and so handsome and so easy to talk to. Yeah, she might be having a hard time getting the words out but she would’ve never dared to say anything at all to Carter so that was definitely something.
“And being here, I feel like a rubber band that’s been stretched out too far for too long and now the tension’s gone. I’m still really tired but I don’t feel like I’m going to snap.”
“It makes me really happy that I can help you feel that way,” he told her, and his earnest words made her go all warm and melty inside. “That all sounds like good stuff, so you’ve softened the blow. Now you can lay the bad part on me. Come on, I’m tough, I can take it. But I hope you saved another nice thing for after. Good old compliment sandwich, that shit works.”
God, he was charming. And kind of silly. Made her laugh.
“It’s not bad, exactly. I’m just confused. All the medical stuff, and the baby stuff, and the being strapped down, and…”
With each word out of her mouth, her face got warmer. Her head was going to burst into flame by the time she was finished. Maybe that would clear away the migraine? Like how wasabi could clear your sinuses? If only.
“It makes me feel all soft and kind of dreamy and calm but it also… It also kind of turns me on. Like in little bursts that get swallowed up by the yucky feeling. But if I wasn’t sick, I think I’d just be sort of squirmy and aroused. It surprised me when you said you’d spank me and when you called yourself my daddy but when the surprise went away, it just felt good. Like I think I’d like it if you wanted to take care of me and I would be good if I just did what I was told.”
She looked down at her hands again, a flush of shame creeping up from her chest. “I like to be good.”
And what the hell kind of way was that for an adult to feel? She shouldn’t give a shit what anyone else thought. It shouldn’t matter if anyone else approved, as long asshethought she was a good person and a good parent and a good citizen of this planet. But she did. She cared a lot.
Eric gave her hand a gentle squeeze and when she met his gaze, he gave her an equally gentle smile. “You’re going to have to give me a heads up when you’re going to hit me with the bad news, because all of that sounds pretty great.”
“You don’t think it’s weird?”
Eric shrugged those broad shoulders, looked down at their fingers twined together. “I know not everyone feels that way but I know enough people who do to think it’s notthatweird. If it were that uncommon I wouldn’t work weekends.”
Work weekends? Eric’s practice wasn’t open weekends except the occasional vaccination clinic or when he got called in for an emergency. She tipped her head. “I didn’t think you did?”
“I don’t for my pediatric practice,” he granted. “But…”
Eric shook his head and she wanted to protest because he’d definitely piqued her curiosity. Not that it was unusual for people to work more than one job, but usually doctors who drove a Lexus and lived in this trendy part of Clover Hills weren’t those people.
“But we can talk about that later when you’re feeling better because right now you’re going to get some rest. You’re not feeling good and it’s been a rough day. What kind of daddy would I be to keep you up with all my yammering on?”
He tapped the tip of her nose and followed it with a kiss in the same spot. It made her blush and smile even though her head still hurt really bad. The throbbing did seem to be dulling into a more manageable ache and her lids did feel awfully heavy. Maybe sleeping wasn’t such a bad idea…