The next year, without even asking, he’d done the same thing, and it had continued every year since. Over the years there were small changes, like one of his girlfriends tagging along, going to his place instead, or switching to whisky or scotch, but generally it was the same. I didn’t care about being alone for the night anymore, but it was one of my favorite days that I got to spend with Jeremy. For that one day we weren’t nearly thirty-year-old adults with jobs, bills to pay, and emerging back problems, but we could act like idiotic drunk teenagers again.
Normally, it was an excellent way to spend the evening.
It was the first time I’d seen Jeremy since leaving the cabin almost a week ago. At the time I was angry at April for sneaking out like she had, without even saying goodbye, so I’d been short with him when I drove off. I couldn’t explain why I was in a bad mood, so I was hoping that he wouldn’t ask. And so far, he hadn’t.
Unfortunately, my mood wasn’t a whole lot better today either.
As I’d feared, I couldn’t stop thinking about April, and it was driving me crazy. I’d even invited Thea over the other night, hoping that she would wipe the April memories away, but I’d ended up asking her to leave before anything had happened, which hadn’t ended well for me either.
Basically, I was pathetic. And unsurprisingly, my best friend had noticed.
“Sorry, just a bit out of it today, I guess. I didn’t sleep well,” It wasn’t entirely a lie; I hadn’t been sleeping all that well since I’d gotten back from the cabin.
“Huh.” Jeremy responded, pausing the game.
“Huh, what?” I asked him.
“You’ve been acting weird since Christmas. Did something happen between you and my sister at the cabin?” he asked suddenly.
My whole body clenched. I felt a cool sweat break out at the back of my neck. I forgot to breath. I couldn’t think of how to answer his question without giving anything away. I also really wanted to ask why he thought something might have happened, but I was too nervous.
So, I said nothing, which could not have been less suspicious.
“You guys were alone up there for days, without internet, without power for most of the time. I have a really hard time believing that you just sat around reading and playing board games the whole time, like little old ladies,” he continued, watching me closely. “You should have murdered each other, but clearly you didn’t. So, now I’m wondering if you found a different way to channel that hatred.”
I stared at the floor, trying to decide how to play this. Jeremy knew me pretty well, and I really didn’t want to get caught in a lie. What I had done was already bad enough. In a split-second, I made my choice.
“What would you do if I said yes?” I asked cautiously. My heart was pounding in my chest as I said it. Jeremy’s answer had never felt so important.
“Wait…what? Are you serious? What type of something are we talking about?” Jeremy yelped, his eyes huge. “Oh, God, no, don’t tell me. Never tell me,” he added, covering his ears with his hands like a little kid would.
I chuckled humorlessly. “Don’t worry, evenifsomething had happened, I’d never tell you the details.”
“I’m confused now,” Jeremey said more seriously. “Did something happen, or not?”
“That depends on your answer to my first question. What would you think if it had?” I asked quietly.
Jeremy shook his head and leaned back, staring at the ceiling, lost in thought. I sat, frozen, waiting for him to say something, anything.
“Uhhh. I really don’t know,” he replied. “I guess I haven’t even thought about it in years. You guys hate each other…or so I thought. I’m not really sure what to say. My head is spinning.”
I nodded. “Yeah, we do hate each other.Did, I mean.”
“So, this is real?” Jeremy met my gaze, his expression incredulous. “You aren’t just messing with me?”
“Honestly, I think that maybe, possibly, it could be real,” I replied, startled to hear the words coming out of my own mouth.
“Alright, I can’t express how much Idon’twant to hear any of the sordid details considering we’re talking about my sister, but you are going to have to tell me what the hell happened at that cabin,” Jeremy blurted out.
He turned the game off completely, handed me a beer, and sat back with a speculative look on his face.
I gave him the very basic rundown of the events, leaving out all of the down and dirty bits. It was tough to explain how everything had started without calling out his sister’s blatant striptease. I did my best though, and chalked it up to mutual boredom and curiosity. I tried to downplay it as much as possible, but I couldn’t hide my grin at one point, and Jeremy unfortunately caught it.
After some groaning and overly dramatic gagging on his part, I finished my story, telling him, tentatively, that I’d apparently caught some feelings along the way. Like a goddamn flu I couldn’t shake.
Jeremy was quiet for several long, torturous minutes. My entire life basically hung on his reaction since he was my best friend.
“Well?” I growled, losing patience with his silence. “What do you think about everything? Don’t leave me in suspense.”