“Go pee. I have no plans of moving,” I murmured, kissing her forehead.
Groaning, she dragged herself out of my bed and disappeared into my bathroom. I cracked an eye open, checking the time. Jesus, I hadn’t seen six a.m. in years, not unless I was stumbling to bed to crash.
Michaela padded back to the bed a minute later, wearing one of my Unrequited T-shirts, which hung to her mid-thigh. She looked sexy, pretty, sleepy. My cock pulsed inside my briefs as she slid back under the sheets with me. Her little belly nudged against my side, along with her breasts. I loved that her need to be close to me wasn’t just something she’d accidentally given into while asleep. This was a conscious decision, and even though holding her wasn’t nearly sufficient, it felt fucking great.
“Sorry I passed out on you last night,” she said. “I blame the chair and the life-sucking being growing inside me.”
“No worries. Yael tried to draw a Sharpie mustache on you, but I tied her down to stop her.”
Michaela giggled. “After seeing her drag that girl last night, I believe it.”
“Nah.” I rolled to my side, my hand resting on her hip. “She likes you. She’d probably only give you a unibrow.”
She let out a long sigh. “I shouldn’t have slept in your bed. I keep trying to draw lines and then end up stepping over them, which isn’t fair to you.”
“Is it fair to you?”
“No…I don’t know. I have no frame of reference for how to deal with our situation. I feel close to you, because of the baby, and I can’t help that. But I have too much to sort through right now to—”
“Don’t. We don’t need to keep going over this. We’re doing the friend thing. Maybe we’re friends who cuddle. I’d really like us to be that kind of friend.”
She moved in closer. “Me too, Mo.” Her hand slid up my arm, squeezing gently. “I’m going to miss you when I’m gone.”
“We’ll talk. Unrequited’s doing a few shows while you’re away, so I’ll try not to obsess over you too much.” I held her little chin in my hand. “I want you to come to our New York show when you fly in for your appointment.”
Michaela would be back in four weeks for her anatomy scan, which happened to coincide with one of our shows. I didn’t do a lot of things right, but the one thing I nailed was making music. It was probably stupid to want her to see me on stage, to see me as more than the goofy kid who’d knocked her up.
“I’ve seen your show before,” she said.
“Right. Got it.” I rolled onto my back again, deflated and defeated.
“Hey.” Soft fingertips pressed into my cheek, turning my head. “I’ve seen your show before, but I’d love to come, if I have the energy. I’ll be four weeks into touring myself, so I might need to pass out for twelve hours. Can we play it by ear?”
“Yep. Just let me know.” I hated how stiff and hurt I sounded, but hey, I was. I was hurt by the entire situation, and each day, I grew more attached to this woman while she kept throwing up barriers between us.
“Moses.” Her hand remained on my face. “I’m sorry. I’ll come, okay?”
And now I felt like a fucking dick. “Your first answer was right. You have no idea what you’ll feel like in four weeks, and I shouldn’t be pouting like a kid about it.”
“Both things can be true.” Fingernails scratched through my scruff. “We’re figuring each other out. We dove headfirst into marriage and a baby without really knowing each other. Here’s something you should know about me: I’m a dick sometimes.”
I chuckled and pulled her closer, onto my chest. “Oh, I know that about you.”
“And the thing I’m learning about you, Moses, is you’re far more sensitive than I ever gave you credit for. I need to be careful not to be so dickish with you.”
A heavy groan rumbled from my chest. “Ah, god. That makes me sound so fucking masculine.”
“I think it’s pretty sexy, to be able to show your feelings and have a tender heart. I’m hoping this kid we made gets more of that than my cold, dead heart.”
“Your heart isn’t cold.”
“I’ve been pretty damn coldhearted to you.” When I shook my head, she went on. “Don’t try to deny it.”
“Nah, I don’t think it’s your heart that’s cold. I think you’ve got a lot of reasons to be protective of it and wary of giving it away.”
“Maybe we know a little more about each other than I thought.” She yawned wide and loud before settling her head on my shoulder. “Hey, Mo?”
“Yeah?”