I raised my chin higher. “You think of me as your property. I know I’m not. I also don’t know what hating someone feels like, but I don’t think it’s this.”
He exhaled a hard breath. “You...don’t know what hate feels like?”
Julien chuckled. “Are you surprised our personal ray of sunshine doesn’t know what hate feels like?”
Amir leveled his friend with a cutting glare. “‘Our’?” Without looking at me, he cupped the back of my head. “Zadie is mine. She’s not giving you any sunshine.”
He was so freaking ridiculous, I couldn’t hold back a giggle. When Julien heard me laughing, he snorted so hard, he started coughing. Amir straightened, folding his arms over his chest again, while Julien and I burst into laughter. Marco wandered in, a bemused look on his face, and sidled up to Amir.
“What’s going on?”
Amir glanced at him, then us. “No fucking idea.”
Of course, that brought on a fresh wave of giggles. Julien bent in half, his forehead on the granite, while I covered my mouth, attempting to stifle some of my laughter, but it was no use. Amir was so growly and pissy for no actual reason, and it tickled something inside me.
“They laughing at you?” Marco asked.
“Yeah. It seems like it,” Amir replied.
“You mad?”
Amir stared at us, and through my teary eyes, I swore I saw his mouth quirking. “Nah. I know Julien won’t be laughing when I don’t let him eat any biscuits for dinner.”
Julien shot out of his chair, stone-faced sober. “I let a lot of shit slide, but that’s never gonna happen.”
Amir grinned wide. “Really? Are you going to stop me?”
Marco slapped his chest. “There’s going to be a mutiny up in this ship if you get between me and Zadie’s cooking.”
Without warning, Marco darted for the oven. Amir caught him around the middle, hauling him back toward the island. Amir took Marco’s elbow to his chest, then he grabbed Marco’s elbow, bracing it at his side. Marco tried to spin out of Amir’s grasp, but Amir caught his other elbow, pinning him in place.
Julien darted for the sink, grabbed a sponge, and hurled it straight for Amir’s head. When it bounced off with a wet slap, he dropped Marco’s arms to wipe the sudsy water from his forehead.
“You fuck,” he growled through a feral grin.
Marco picked up the sponge and pegged the back of Julien’s head as he retreated to the other side of the island. Meanwhile, Amir had a kitchen towel in his hand, using it like a whip on Marco’s legs and Julien’s torso. The three of them were wild and messy, cussing and shouting insults. I couldn’t stop the giggles, even as I crouched down so I wouldn’t end up with a sponge to the head.
This was the first time I’d seen Amir playful—Marco too, for that matter—and it was an incredible sight. He looked younger, freer, and there was a brightness in his midnight eyes that was never there. Right then, I was the furthest from hate I’d ever been in regard to Amir.
I pinched the back of Julien’s arm when he came close to me. “Don’t worry. If he takes all of them, I’ll make you your own batch next time.”
Chuckling, Julien patted my crown. “That’s my girl.”
Silence descending over the kitchen. Amir’s grin vanished, and I instantly knew I’d said the wrong thing. For a moment, I’d forgotten I was a pet and not a person to him. They could joke with each other, but I wasn’t allowed to join in.
He dropped Marco, who’d taken on the expression of a man watching a train wreck, and held his hand out to me.
“Time to go, Zadie,” Amir bit out.
“Okay,” I whispered. I hadn’t unpacked my messenger bag, so it was simple to slip it over my shoulder to make a quick escape. Amir took it from me as soon as I stood and strode out of the kitchen without a backward glance, clearly expecting me to follow.
“Sorry, Z,” Julien murmured.
“You’ll be all right,” Marco added, but yeah, he still had that train wreck look.
I gave them a wave. “See you guys later. And don’t let him eat all the biscuits.”
Amir was waiting for me in his SUV. I climbed in, clutching my bag in my lap. He was silent as we took the short drive back to campus. It wasn’t a comfortable silence by any means. The weight of it was so heavy, it was unbearable. I couldn’t keep doing this, not for the rest of the semester. My stomach hurt from the tension emanating from Amir in waves.