My stomach dropped when I heard Doc. Had he been gone an hour already?
I wrapped a towel around me and walked to the bathroom door. “Do you have the test?”
There was a somber expression on his face, as if he too knew that this had the potential to be an incomprehensible fuck up.
He nodded. “In fact, I brought two.” He held out the paper bag, and for the life of me I couldn’t move. I couldn’t reach out to take the bag from him. Every muscle seized up, and I was incapable of moving.
“Miss Linscott. You need to do the test.”
With a heartbeat that thundered against my ribs, the rapid beating echoing inside my head, I managed to take the bag from him. Funny how one tiny little bag could have such power. How peeing on a stick could be so goddamn frightening.
I closed the door and pulled both boxes from the bag. When I woke up this morning, I never imagined my day would end with me putting my fate on a thin white stick.
A few deep breaths, and two pregnancy tests later, my fate was sealed.
There were two lines. Two little pink lines that taunted me. The longer I stared at it, the more those lines suffocated me.
I always liked the soft feminine color, but today I hated it. Two pregnancy tests and both confirmed something I would not be able to hide from. I was pregnant…with Castello Fattore’s child.
“Miss Linscott, are you finished?”
For the first time in what felt like hours, I tore my gaze from the sticks that now held all the power, and I looked at the door.
Doc couldn’t know. He would tell Castello. Not because he wanted to, but because he would have no choice. His loyalty to Castello would demand that the truth be spoken, and I wasn’t ready to face the truth. I didn’t want Castello to know.God. I didn’t want to know.
“Miss Linscott?”
“Yeah.” I pulled my hand through my hair. “I’m done.”
How could I keep this from Doc? I could say the tests were negative and I threw them away, but something told me Doc would want to see the tests. After all, trust wasn’t something anyone in this household knew how to do. I had to find another way to keep Doc quiet until I’d had a chance to think this through. But what could I possibly do that would make Doc keep my secret?
I glanced up at the mirror, my reflection staring back at me. I’d come such a long way. I’d survived so much. I watched a man get executed after I was the one who passed judgement. And Castello now seemed to think I had the strength and the hunger for revenge to rule in this world alongside him. Maybe the time has come for me to embrace this life Castello had given me and to make use of the power that came with it. Judging by how good it felt to see Castello put a bullet in Ricardo’s skull, I was pretty sure I could do this. I had to.
I straightened and squared my shoulders. It was time for me to stop acting like the goddamn victim and allow the strength in me to take control.
I walked out of the bathroom and held out the two positive tests to Doc.
“Mio Dio.” Dear God. He looked up at me. “You are pregnant.”
I just nodded while I watched the expression on his face. It was obvious that just like me he didn’t know how this would affect my life—allour lives.
“We need to tell Castello.” He rushed toward the door, but I intercepted.
“Not yet.”
His eyes narrowed. “Miss Linscott, he has a right to know.”
“And I will tell him…when the time is right.”
“And when is that?”
I gave a step forward. “When I say it’s right.”
He leaned his head to the side. “I have a loyal duty to inform Castello that you are with child. I’m sorry, Miss Linscott, but he has to know.”
With another step forward, I tried my best to seem confident. It was like Castello said, being nervous showed that you lacked confidence, and when you lacked confidence others, would see it as weakness. Right now, I couldn’t afford any weakness.
“I need this to stay between us, for now.”