8
Ace thought he might be sick. For the first time, he had a glimmer of understanding for what Liam had gone through when he’d watched Ace take the bullet that had shattered his arm.
The world’s longest and slowest motherfucking train had ensured that after it had passed, there was no hint of Ruby’s assailants. Though they’d surveilled the area, the nondescript van had disappeared, so they’d turned around and returned to Shields headquarters, stopping on the way to make sure Quinn and Gavyn were okay.
The shop owner and head mechanic of Hot Rides had risked their fool lives to try to stop the van when they’d recognized James’s one-of-a-kind vehicle in hot pursuit while they’d been leaving Quinn’s wife Devra’s restaurant. Without the bulletproof vehicle surrounding them in a protective bubble, they could easily have been shot or worse. Ace would never forget that they’d done it anyway, even though they’d failed.
All of them had.
Ruby was gone.
And it was entirely his fault.
He must have made some strangled sound low in his throat where the acid assaulted his esophagus. Liam gripped the steering wheel of James’s car, which Ace would never make fun of again, in one hand and used the other to squeeze Ace’s knee. “Hold on. We’re almost there.”
Legend shifted. It might have been comical, how he’d squished into the microscopic backseat with his roommate Tavish, if the situation hadn’t been so dire. “This is only a regroup, not a retreat. We’re going to bring her home.”
Ace nodded because nothing else was permissible. He’d search for her the rest of his life if it came to that.
Liam took the turn into Shields practically on two wheels. The instant the car lurched to a stop, Ace bolted from it with Liam, Tavish, and Legend only steps behind him. They blew through the front door and into the command center. From the grim faces and dead silence—pretty much unheard of in their headquarters—everyone knew exactly how dire the situation was.
Ace couldn’t even look James in the eye when the guy smothered him in a hug. Worse, none of their teammates—Jordan included—acknowledged their reappearance, focused instead on the monitors of Ruby’s empty workstation, their own shoes, or the spot outside where everything had turned to shit.
Were they in as much shock as he was, or were they pissed off at him?
Either would be understandable.
Maybe all this time Liam had been right. Fucking around within the team was a terrible idea. Not only because it could be complicated and messy if things went wrong but also because their emotions were one hell of a distraction that they very clearly couldn’t afford. Not when so many people’s safety relied on their judgment.
Ace turned toward Liam and admitted to himself that he’d sacrificed any hope of being with the other man as surely as they’d lost Ruby. Because there was no way in hell they were going to get past Ruby’s abduction considering how Liam had nearly imploded when Ace had gotten hurt on what he considered his watch.
In less than twelve hours Ace had gone from living out his wildest fantasies to being trapped in his worst nightmares.
“Liam…” he tried, although he already knew it was no use.
“Not now.” His partner shut Ace down before they could get into another fight. “Don’t you see? I always knew this is what would happen. If they hurt Ruby—or worse—it’s on us.Me.”
“It is.” Jordan snapped his stare to them. “But not because you’ve been dancing around her for months as if that makes you less unfocussed than actually having a relationship with her. What the fuck were you doing drawing her out into the open like that?”
“I wasn’t thinking. Obviously.” Ace pounded the table. “I was acting on emotion.”
“Hey. That’s not a bad thing.” James defended Ace then, coming to stand beside him with a hand on his shoulder. “I feel responsible too. I literally told you two to take it outside, but…you know…I was being metaphorical. You could have gone and beat the shit out of each other in the gym or something.”
“Oh.” Ace felt like an idiot. And as if he didn’t deserve the two people he, even still, craved most in the world.
“There are plenty of agents here who’ve learned to balance their connection with their responsibilities. It’s not easy.” Sola looked at Aarav, and Ace would bet she was thinking about the time she’d stepped in front of their boyfriend, Cash, when Aarav had been about to put a hole in his skull. Before they’d realized Cash wasn’t the evil bastard they’d believed him to be. “But it’s not impossible.”
“For me, it looks like it is. I didn’twantto be right. That’s just how things are.” Liam groaned and sank into the chair next to Ace, putting his head in his hands. “People I care for get fucked up when I’m preoccupied by how hot they are instead of what’s going on around us. I’m sorry, man. I’m sorry. For everything.”
Ace knew right then that Liam was ending things between them. They’d never recover from this.
When he reached out, because it was impossible to ignore Liam’s suffering beneath the flogging he was inflicting on himself, Liam dodged Ace’s hand. His comfort. His touch.
That stung, even worse than it usually did.
“Enough of this bullshit. What can we do to help Ruby?” Liam asked, his voice raising.
Ace wondered if the answer was less straightforward than his partner wanted it to be. Of course she needed them to go after her, but that alone wouldn’t suffice. He met James’s gaze and nodded. The guy knew a hell of a lot about relationships and making them work, even when they were convoluted. Ace would think about that more after they found Ruby and brought her home. Because if they couldn’t do that, then none of the rest mattered.