“Oh. Uh. Yeah.” He cleared his throat and stared at the curved ceiling before admitting, “I’d have had to had sex before to have an STI.”
“What are you trying to say?” Sola blinked, her head canting to the side. “You’re a virgin?”
2
“Yeah.” Aarav shuffled from one foot to the other feeling like a fool. Why would a woman like her be interested in him when he didn’t even know how to please her? As lame asJakehad been, her bullshit date probably had at least been capable of having a one-night stand.
“Why?” Sola tipped her head, not in judgment but in an attempt to understand. “I know for a fact women drool over you all the time. I’m going to punch one of them in the boob sooner or later.”
He chuckled at that, cupping her cheek. It felt natural and normal and forbidden all at once. It lent him the courage to give her the truthful answer she deserved.
“For a long time I thought I wasn’t built like other people, certainly not other guys. I would never get turned on by random people or sexy scenes on TV or whatever. It wasn’t until you…” He waved at his obvious erection straining against the front of his pants. “I was talking to James about it one day—”
Their office manager and team confidant knew a shit ton about sexuality given that he was part of a pansexual polyamorous group. The Powertools believed in love in every variety.
“Why didn’t you talk to me about it?” Sola asked, the hurt returning to her eyes. “I would have listened. Iwantedto know.”
“It took me a minute to figure it all out. Anyway, James said there are some people who are demisexual. They’re only sexually attracted to people they have an emotional connection with. So, uh, you’re the first person…you know.”
Aarav did his best to sound casual. Like that revelation hadn’t been a profound turning point in his life. He’d darted up to his apartment and done endless research after James had dropped that bomb, and everything he’d read had confirmed that might just be what people called someone like him. Not a freak, as he’d labeled himself for far too long.
It had shocked him at first, when he’d realized that when he hung out with Sola, for the first time in his life, he wondered what it would be like to take her to bed.
“So that means…?” Sola’s gaze met his squarely then and her frown was replaced with a brilliant smile. “You don’t only want me, but youlikeme too?”
“I’m sorry you don’t already know that.” Aarav realized fully how selfish he’d been to allow his fear of admitting it to either of them to injure her pride and her confidence.
“And you’d be willing to let me be your first?” She leaned toward him.
Only. Even he was smart enough not to say that out loud yet for fear of replacing the smoldering stare she was aiming in his direction with one of awkward disentanglement. But he couldn’t imagine there ever being another woman so perfectly made for him as she was. So instead he simply nodded.
“Wow. That’s…an honor. Thank you.” Sola melted into him, hugging him tight. As he embraced her in return he couldn’t believe he’d withheld this sense of absolute…rightness…from them both for months.
“So you’re not mad it took me so long to finally tell you?”
“I was never angry.” She raised her head from his shoulder and nipped at his lower lip. “I was frustrated.”
He found he liked the edge of discomfort along with whatever else she was doing to his body by being this primal and honest, putting her needs on full display for him. Sola didn’t expose her weaknesses any more easily than he did. It was the ultimate demonstration of faith.
And he wasn’t going to let her down.
Not again.
“Not tonight, you won’t be. Tell me what you like and I’ll do it. I’ll make it as good for you as I can.” Aarav reached for her, but she shifted out of his hold.
She stepped back a few inches and let her dress slip to the floor where it framed her like a blood-red rose. She kicked it aside, making him gawk at her lacy red panties, the only thing left between him and all of her. Her body was flawless, strong with hints of boyishness—her eight-pack giving his a run for its money—but perfect in his eyes.
Sola was capable, tough, and ruthless when she needed to be. She was a survivor—a prerequisite for any partner of his. Because it was terrifying enough to give his heart to a badass like her, never mind someone who couldn’t take care of themselves and might leave him like his family had.
“No. We’re not going to do that tonight.” Sola kissed him then, drawing his full attention back to her and the moment. Blowing his mind with the simple press of her lips to his, another first. One he hoped desperately would not be a last. “You’ve done too much thinking these past months and not enough feeling.”
He nodded. “I’m sorry.”
“Stop apologizing and make up for it. Now.” Sola bunched his crisp dress shirt in her fists and ripped the sides apart, sending buttons pinging off the mirror attached to the back of the door.
He stared down as she unknotted his tie, leaving the ends of the maroon silk dangling over the expanse of his chest in the opening between the white panels of fabric. He couldn’t stifle a groan as she kissed her way down his sternum and over his abs, her fingers curling in his waistband.
It didn’t turn him on to see her on her knees in front of him, but he couldn’t deny what she was doing to his libido when she cupped his cock through his pants before unzipping them. She shoved them down his hips and swiped his underwear away, leaving him bare before her in a matter of moments.