16
Kennedy hovered over Marcus’s bed, counting the steady breaths Knox took for several minutes. They were still shallow but not scarily slow anymore.
“You told me he’s going to be okay.” Marcus frowned. “Were you only saying that to make me feel better?”
“No.” She turned and buried her face against his chest, loving how his arms automatically went around her, sheltering her. “His vitals are perfect. He’s just sleeping it off now.”
“So stop worrying.” Marcus ran his fingers through her hair from her temple to her ribs, tucking it behind her ear to get it off her face.
“There’s a lot left to be scared of.” Kennedy thought about where they would go from here, individually and possibly together.
“Come on, let’s sit with the guys. Maybe talking to them will help.”
Kennedy bit her lip, then nodded, letting Marcus guide her into his living room where Gavyn, the owner of the Hot Rides motorcycle shop, was sprawled in a leather recliner cattycorner from Roman, who had one booted ankle resting on his opposite knee. Both men wore black jeans, faded T-shirts, and possessed an assortment of chains and tattoos between them.
“Same?” Roman asked.
Kennedy rubbed her scalp, trying to erase her headache. “Yeah.”
Marcus sank onto the couch then gathered her into his lap, her back facing his chest, and dusted her hands aside to take over massaging for her. His fingers felt incredible easing the tension from her bit by bit.
“You might have to be prepared to give him some space.” Roman winced. “When I OD’d and woke up in the hospital, it was both the best and worst sight to see Carver right there at my bedside.”
“How so?” She would have figured having the man he later married by his side would have been a relief.
“Because although he’d never say so, I knew I’d let him down.” Roman closed his eyes briefly.
“Yeah. I don’t even remember the morning they dragged me out of the pond at Bare Natural after my bender on the Powertools’ wedding night, but I’ll never forget how much it hurt Amber.” Gavyn groaned. “Even after all this time, it doesn’t get easier and there’s nothing we can do about that.”
“Except give ourselves some grace, which in itself is a tough lesson.” Roman shot Kennedy a sympathetic stare. “It’s going to take time.”
She nodded.
“How are you two feeling about what happened?” Gavyn wondered.
“I hate that I couldn’t stop it. And that I stood by and watched him do it instead of me.” Marcus’s hands trembled on Kennedy’s skin, so she angled toward him and kissed him gently, trying to soothe his regrets. It still felt new but entirely right to be able to do that.
“In his shoes, there’s no way I would have let you touch it.” Roman looked at Marcus like he was nuts.
“Me either.” Gavyn shook his head. “It’s better that you never know what it’s like.”
“I’m afraid that this is going to set him back and make it harder for him to change in the ways he was hoping to.” Kennedy rested her head on Marcus’s shoulder and tried not to rub up against him when he caressed her back.
“You can tell me to shut the fuck up if I’m prying, but I’m assuming that what James told us about the three of you spending some quality time together wasn’t about having a fling that day?” Roman was direct but not unkind. Everyone knew he had a dominant streak a mile wide.
“Let’s be honest.” Kennedy peered up at Marcus, who was smiling at her. This wasn’t news to him. “I never got over Knox in the first place. And I’ve been stupid to let that impact my relationship with Marcus. If Knox is brave enough to admit when he’s fucked up, I should be too. Yeah, I want them both and I plan to do whatever I can to make it work.”
Gavyn and Roman both grinned as if they’d pulled off a grand prank by getting her to admit what seemed obvious to anyone who knew them well. When she canted her head to one side, Roman jerked his chin toward the bedroom doorway, where Knox stood in the shadows, clutching the door frame as he gaped at her.
“Even now. Seriously? How can that be?” Knox sounded like he’d swallowed a handful of the gravel Marcus had kicked up when he peeled out of that shitty parking lot earlier.
Kennedy sprang to her feet and rushed toward him. She only slowed, stopping prior to flinging herself at him and smothering him in kisses when she remembered what Gavyn and Roman had recently cautioned. Knox might not believe her when she told him the truth, though maybe having heard it from her when she had been unaware he was listening might help move things along. “Because I have faith in you. It was a horrible situation. Let me get you some water. How do you feel?”
“Like shit.” His eyes were barely open, as if the lights were stabbing into his brain. Marcus dimmed them, the darkness outside becoming more apparent.
“How long was I out?” Instead of sitting beside them, Knox wandered to the floor to ceiling windows, surveying Middletown laid out before them.
“About five hours. It’s almost dawn,” Kennedy told him.