He grinned despite the seriousness of the subject. “And that’s a good thing for our kid. He or she will have two smart parents.” He’d had no idea how much she held inside and suffered with, and he tried to lighten the mood with his words.
She smiled and he was pleased. “Do I know everything now?” he asked.
She met his gaze and nodded. “You do.”
“Do you feel any better?”
She lifted her shoulders. “I’m not sure.”
He needed to try a different way to reach her. “How are you feeling, then?” She’d been holding his hand, and he managed to switch their positions so he could run his thumb over her skin.
She tipped her head from side to side, stretching her muscles. “Like I want to run away and not have to think about anything. Except it always follows me.”
“It?”
“The anxiety and, in this case, my situation.” She freed one hand and placed it over her belly.
He’d been expecting that kind of answer. “Okay, first, it’s our situation. Second? Neither one of us is running away. We can’t deal with the future if we’re running from the past.”
“Have you always been so wise?” she asked.
“It comes with age.” He laughed and so did she, breaking the tension that had been hovering around them.
Knowing that, even without the pregnancy, she’d been relationship-shy, he kept quiet about their current status as a couple. As much as he’d planned to come down here and tell her how he felt about her, he now worried about her reaction. Considering the two broken engagements behind her, two men who’d gotten close to her because they’d wanted something, he felt that saying I love you now was the worst thing he could do. She’d turn things around in her head and think he was saying it because she was pregnant.
Which meant he was at a loss. Not only did he need to process the fact that he was going to be a father and his life was about to change, but also, the mother of his child had trust issues a mile long. Probably longer.
He had to take a step back and think. Regroup. Figure out what he wanted and what Jade needed. So he asked the only thing he could think of.
“How about we go eat dinner?”
She blinked at him in surprise but nodded. “Yes. Good idea.”
He slid away from her and gave them both room to stand up and stretch after their long talk. He followed her out of the library and toward the veranda, where they would be eating.
Knox knew he needed a plan, but the only thing he could come up with was to back off and let them process the news together. The heavy conversation ought to end. If he could convince her to stay on the island with him and enjoy their time together, he could remind her of how good things were between them. And Jade would relax before they had to return to New York and deal with their new reality.
After that? One step at a time.
During dinner, Jade picked at her food, and there wasn’t much in the way of conversation, nor could he manage to engage her. Without warning, she rose and made a sudden dash inside the house. Knox rushed after her and found her in the nearest bathroom, leaning over the toilet.
He stepped out to give her privacy, returning when he heard the flush. He stepped back in as she rose to her feet. She turned on the faucets, leaning over the sink to splash her face.
Wanting to help, Knox gathered her hair in his hand, making it easier for her to wash up. She finished and patted her face with a towel.
“Are you okay?” he asked, feeling useless and unable to do anything but stand by her side.
“Yeah. But I need to brush my teeth.” She turned away from him, and he followed her to the bedroom, waiting outside the bathroom while she finished up.
When she walked out, her face was makeup free, and though she’d been out in the sun today, her skin appeared washed out. He sat down on the mattress and patted the space beside him.
She lowered herself to the bed. “Welcome to paradise,” she said with a shake of her head.
He let out a laugh. “At least you can make jokes.”
“What else can I do?” She shrugged. “Did you eat enough dinner? You can go back and finish… Or did I ruin your appetite?” She winced, wrinkling her nose at the thought.
“I’m fine.” He placed his hand on the back of her neck and rubbed his thumb back and forth against her soft skin. “How about you? Feeling any better?”