Chapter Twelve
Rashad's face seemslike it's carved in stone when he says the words, but I just can't let myself believe him. Grandpa's island can protect Huzna from future wars, and so he can only be bluffing when he says I can sell it to his worst enemy.
"You can sell the island to anyone," Rashad goes on doggedly, "and it won't matter to me. I can find another way to protect my kingdom. A thousand other ways even," he grates out, "if that's what it takes. But there's only one you—-"
"Please just stop," I whisper painfully. "Don't you think you've hurt me enough?"
The words make Rashad flinch, and I see his throat working convulsively before he's able to speak.
"I never wanted to hurt you."
Rashad's voice breaks, and when I look into his eyes, I see what I didn't want to see—-
Why, God?
Why must You let me see that his heart is also breaking?
"And I know...I fucking know I have no right to ask for another chance, but I have no choice."
Fear haunts his features, and it makes me want to cry.
"I can't live without you, Madeleine. I've tried to imagine a life without you, and all I see is emptiness. You're my life. You're my love. So please."
Tears start rolling down my cheeks.
"Just tell me what to do to make you believe me. Ask me anything. Whatever you need me to do to prove that I love you—-"
He's always struck me as someone proud and strong, someone invincible really, but when his voice breaks again, it's at that moment everything becomes clear.
"Please."
He's begging.
Rashad is begging, and all I can do is shake my head as everything becomes clearer and clearer.
"I love you, Madeleine. It's no lie."
"I k-know."
Rashad's face turns ashen. "But you can't make yourself trust me again. Is that it?"
My lips part, but I'm all choked up with emotion that no words come out.
"I'm fucking begging you, Madeleine. Just ask anything of me, dammit. Anything—-"
"Y-You don't understand."
"Then make me," he bites out between clenched teeth. "Make me fucking understand—-"
"I'm saying there's nothing more you can do," I say with a teary laugh, "because I already believe you."
"God. Damn. You."
Rashad yanks me into his arms, and I can't remember feeling any more cherished as he starts showering my face with kisses.
"I love you, Madeleine, I love you. God, I love you."
His voice is hoarse, tender, and humble, and while I know I will never forget this moment for the rest of my life, there's something more important that we must do, and so I curl my arms around his neck and whisper, "I love you, too, so..."