“16.”
Her eyes go wide, and she tries to cover her gasp with a cough, but I see right through her. When I don’t start laughing right away, she gets a little tense and that makes me laugh, which in turn causes her to relax. She had tried to keep her shock to herself, but it got the better of her, which I can’t blame her for. I never did anything that led them to believe that I was interested in older men, then again, I never did anything that would make them believe that I was into men at all now that I think about it. When she gathers herself I don't see any judgment in her eyes and that makes me happy, not that it would have mattered if she thought it was weird or gross, but I might not have been able to control my temper if she started talking shit.
“I am going to ask this the only way that I know how to, and it's not gentle or nice, but I don't know how else to phrase it.” Raven pauses and I already know what she is going to ask so I take her out of her misery before she has an aneurysm.
“I have daddy issues,” I offer over the rim of my glass and smirk at her around a mouthful of Dr. Pepper. I’ll give it to her though she recovers from that one quickly.
“I am not going to lie to you, I had thought so. You don't talk about your family, ever, and you have never been interested in the men around here. You have always been blunt with guys that hit on you and you NEVER mention a mother. So, it was either that or you’re a lesbian… None of us wanted to ask because it doesn't matter but since we are having this conversation, can I ask?”
“Oh, those are the only options? Daddy issues or lesbian? Why does it have to be one or the other? Why can’t it be both?
“Oh, I mean… it can be both… is it both?”
“No,” I am laughing so hard I am sure we are drawing attention, “What is the other question.”
“It’s pretty personal…”
“If I ever gave you the impression that you couldn't ask me anything personal, I am sorry.” I cut her off but then I pick my hand up and I wave it, telling her to proceed with her questions. I might not tell her everything, but I won't lie to her.
“Is your home life safe?
I think that might be an odd place to start, right into the heavy bits. A straight yes would be a lie, there is nothing about being an MC brat that is safe, but I know that she means from my parents.
“My dad doesn't abuse me, Raven.” I watch as she visibly relaxes, I didn't think that not talking about my parents would lead people to think that they hurt me.
“And your mom?”
“No. My mother died when I was three, complications of too many drugs before I was born.” That might be the only whole truth that I tell her.
“I am so sorry, that's why you make that face any time that one of the DIK guys brings out the coke isn't it?” The waitress sets our food down and I nod at Raven.There is a lot of pot around the clubhouse, but the members aren’t allowed to do anything harder than that anymore. With the last president, things got out of hand, and under my father’s rule the club is allowed to run drugs for the Mafia, but the guys can’t do anything harder than pot.
It might make the brothers slower to react but it doesn’t make them stupid.
“Are you from near here?”
“I grew up about an hour and a half south of the city, a small town with a community college. I went there for as long as I could stand it before I moved here,” I hate the fact that I have been here for six months, and my closest friend doesn't know these things about me. It makes me feel like a bad person.
“What does your dad do?” My fork clatters to my plate and I cough around the bite that I had just put in my mouth.
“I would rather not talk about the personal doings of my family. I understand that it's weird, but I grew up in a very private house and it's just not normal for me. I'll answer questions about myself but any more questions about my family should be avoided.”
Raven looks surprised for a moment before she regroups and moves on, “I understand, my parents are a lot, and I came here to get away from them! People think that because I grew up with money I had the perfect childhood, but if anything, my parent's money made them more overbearing with me.” I want to laugh at her, but I don't. She has no idea just how much different our worlds are.
“I hate that you don't know these things about me, I feel terrible that you have known me for this long and you still don't know me.”
“You are a secretive person; we could all tell. You made it clear that you needed family, and support in whatever you were working through, and we wanted to be that for you. So, we didn't push,” How weird do I have to be that these girls made me their family without asking questions about my personal life?
I wonder how many of them didn't ask because their fight or flight mechanism told them to leave it alone.It also makes me question how many of them truly think of me as family or are just flocking together with everyone else. Zoe is the one that pulled me into the sorority, she convinced me to stay the day of rush, and then she picked me to be her little sister—even though we are the same age—much to the dismay of several other girls at rush.
She told me that day that she didn’t like all the sisters and I quickly learned why, but when it comes to the big stuff, we are a family. Apparently, a family that doesn’t know each other. I will admit that I haven’t taken the time to get to know anyone other than Zoe and Raven, but I didn’t see the point. I know the rest of the sisters well enough to live with them in harmony, that’s all I need.
I happen to look over her shoulder at the exact moment that Bell walks through the front door and my stomach drops at the sight of him. I pick my drink up to hide how tense I become, thankfully Raven is looking down at her plate. The hostess giggles so loud that I can hear it from here and leads him to a table that gives her a perfect view of him from her podium, instead of going back to the front she all but runs to the back, I'm sure it's so that she can tell her friend all about the guy that just sat in her section.
“Fin?”
“Shit, sorry. I’m good, just got distracted.” Since her head was down, she missed my eyes tracking him to his table, otherwise, she might look around and quickly be able to figure out that the tall man with the gray scruff is the older ex that I told her about. I already told myself that I won't lie to her, and I’m not going to.
Bell is still in the long shirt that covers his tattoos, dressed how he is, the man just looks like a very attractive professor that is slightly rough around the edges.