Meanwhile Elliot is in a light gray cotton tee that clings to all the right places—his lean, muscled pecs and tight abs. The lounging shorts show off his well-developed calves dusted with crisp dark hair. He raises his head as though he’s sensed me. Our gazes meet, and I feel my smile slipping. His broad shoulders look so comforting, a part of me just wants to go over and rest my head there for a moment.
But the things Elizabeth said come back to me, and I can’t. I’m beginning to realize that I crave him, but he doesn’t feel the same way about me. Not even close. He holds all the cards, and those cards have even more power now because I care and he doesn’t. The sweet, tender glimpses of him that I’ve seen are probably the things I’m imagining to make myself feel better about our…arrangement. I know how people are wired to focus on things that support what they want to believe. They even invent what isn’t there to reinforce their belief. It’s how my dad was able to do so much damage for so long.
Nonny waves. “Hi.” She yawns. “You’re back.”
Elliot gives me an unreadable look. “You were out for a while.”
“Had some errands to run.” I don’t want to talk about meeting Dennis or Elizabeth.
“We ordered Chinese,” he says. “Hope you don’t mind. I couldn’t get hold of you.”
I shrug. “That’s fine.”
I climb the steps to the master suite and drop my purse in the walk-in closet. The dress slithers into a heap on the floor, and I kick it into a basket for dirty clothes. I put on a super comfy sleeveless black dress that reaches mid-shin. The full-length mirror on the wall reveals a young woman with shadowed green eyes staring back at me. The makeup on my face is as wilted as old lettuce, and I feel as bad as I look.
Annoyance surges. Why am I not taking better care of myself? I’m wasting energy on things that simply won’t matter once the year’s up. I go to the bathroom, drag a couple of makeup remover wipes across my skin and wash my face. Have dinner and go to sleep. Maybe a little warm milk before bed to help myself relax.
Feeling immensely better, I go downstairs and sit at the table. Nonny yawns again as Elliot explains the mistake she made on the last problem on her homework.
“I’m sorry, but I’m not getting it,” she says.
“Have you been staying up texting all night?” he asks.
“No. Just can’t sleep these days.”
I frown. Whenever something’s bothering her, she goes through a bout of insomnia. “What’s wrong?”
“Nothing.”
“Nonny…”
“I’m serious. Nothing’s wrong.”
“Sure. That’s why you have dark circles.”
“Runny mascara,” she says. “I’m going to buy some waterproof stuff tomorrow.”
I shake my head. “If you want, I’ll sit with you tonight.” Sometimes that helps her get to sleep.
Her gaze darts in Elliot’s direction. “No, it’s okay.” She sighs. “Please. Don’t worry about me, okay?”
I cross my arms. “If you promise to get some decent sleep tonight.”
She rolls her eyes. “I prooooomise,” she says, drawing an exaggerated cross over her heart.
Elliot’s frowning as he watches our exchange. I don’t explain anything to him. Instead, I merely clasp my hands, while Nonny puts away her math homework.
Just as he asks, “What was that—?” the intercom buzzes. Relieved, I start to rise, but he gestures at me to stay seated. “I’ll get it.”
As he leaves the table, I turn to Nonny. “If you need to talk, you know I’m here for you.”
She looks at me, her eyes troubled. Her teeth dig into her lower lip, then she shakes her head. “It’s just the excitement of the new school and everything. I’ll be okay.” She pats my hand. “You know me. I’ll be back to sleeping like a baby soon.”
I nod, hoping that’s true.
Elliot reappears with our food. He lays it out, and we dig into the orange chicken, sweet and sour pork, and beef and broccoli. The shrimp and egg fried rice is fluffy yet moist, and the spring rolls are just crispy enough.
“The beef is too salty,” Nonny announces.