Her room was decorated with reproductions of Van Gogh and Claude Monet, not movie stars. If she fell in love with someone like him, after a while, she’d be just a torn page in his book, while he could be an entire chapter in hers. She didn’t want that.
That evening, when she went to make them sandwiches, she returned to find Finn sitting on her bed and not on the chair by her desk. He shot his head up and threw something on the cover. It was the white, oversized Jane from Daria T-shirt that she used to sleep in. She loved that show, identified with the characters, and wished she had a friend like Daria or Jane. Maybe he was reading the quote that was printed on it—“I actually accomplished something. I mean, other than getting up.”
“Thanks for dinner,” he said, taking a plate from her.
After she saw Finn to the door later that night, her mother asked, “That was Marie Brennen’s son, right? He’s very handsome.”
“Yes,” she replied, her foot already on the carpeted first step, intending to go back to her room.
“The type of boys that break hearts,” her mother sighed out.
“Not mine,” she said then went upstairs.
A few weeks later, he solved her internal debate about asking him to her junior prom when he told her about the two-day swim meet that fell on the same date. She wondered what his answer would have been if she had asked him.
“Plain Jane’s a wallflower much?” she heard a guy mutter quietly to his girlfriend as they passed by her on junior prom night.
She stood with her back to the wall, not far from the entrance, looking for familiar faces. One of the girls from band, who she was supposed to go with, had called in sick at the last moment, but she had decided to go anyway. Admittedly, wearing a yellow dress with her pale skin might not have been the smartest choice, but comments like that had become rare and usually whispered these days.
She ended up enjoying the evening as soon as she had found a few friends to hang out with, and when the news of the swim team’s victory made its way through the prom crowd, she was even happier.
She was walking down the hall one day, toward the end of the year, when a pat on her shoulder surprised her from behind. As soon as she swung around, she was met with the happiest smile that she had ever seen. And the bluest eyes.
“I got in, Jane! I got in!” Finn called then scooped her up in his arms and hugged her, her feet dangling above the floor.
She was dazzled by his mix of soap, deodorant, and chlorine, and the way his body was as hard and solid as it looked.
“In?”
“Cal Poly! I’m in!”
“Oh my God! I’m so happy for you! Finn!” she yelled, wrapping her arms around his neck.
Kids who passed by looked at them.
He put her back on her feet then reached for his backpack. “I got you something as a thank you,” he said.
“You didn’t have to.”
“I wanted to. You really made a difference, you know?” He smiled as he handed her a gift-wrapped box.
“Thanks.” She opened it, trying to keep her fingers from trembling.
“I didn’t know if these were the best ones, so I asked my friend, who’s also taking Art, and she said they were. I hope you like them,” he hurried to say.
She swallowed, her heart expanding in her chest. “They are. I love them. Thank you,” she managed to half-whisper. They were the watercolors and brushes she had wanted. She bit her lips and looked up into his eyes. “Finn, thank you.” It was the first time she felt, beyond a shred of a doubt, that she could not just fall—but collapse in love with him.
“You’re welcome. Don’t be a stranger, okay? I hope you have a great senior year.”
“Thanks. Me a senior, you a freshman. Just like nature intended it.”
Finn laughed. It had become her favorite sound.
Her senior year was eventless and boring, but in a good way. The remnants of the Plain Jane nickname had died out, though she began introducing herself to new people as Anne. She became a bit closer with Bella, the girl from band who had skipped their junior prom, and a boy from band had asked her to their senior prom. A head taller than him, she wore flats, along with a navy collar dress, and was excited when, at the end of the night, he rose to his toes and kissed her. Only later, she had the wisdom to recognize that, if she had made a difference for Finn, he had done the same for her, showing her that she wasn’t really a wallflower.
She followed news of his success through the town’s rumor mill, the school’s newspaper, and his mother, who sometimes shopped at the bakery.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
It would be two and a half years before she would see Finn again and accidentally share a life-changing kiss. And it would be another four years before they would lose themselves in each other so completely that it would be hard to imagine they could ever be severed from one another.