Crying so hard she was shaking next to me, she finally stopped her pounding and gripped my shirt instead. “It’s not just you. It’s Reece. It’s Mom and Dad. It’s just… everything.”
“I can’t do anything to bring them back,” I murmured. “I wish they were here, too. I wish Mom could’ve gone with you to see Ms. Anita about the flowers and to pick out your dress. I wish that Dad would’ve been trying to convince you to choose ‘Brown-Eyed Girl’ for your dance with him and that he could’ve been helping us put together everything that needs to be put together, but I can’t bring them back for you.”
I shuddered as I breathed out, the weight of my guilt and my own sudden longing for our parents bearing down on me. “I can’t give you Mom and Dad, but I can promise youme. We still have each other, and I promise you that from here on out, I’m going to stop being part of the problem. I love you, Theodora Eldridge—for a few more days. Even when you become a Walsh, I’m still going to love you and I’m still going to be here for you.”
“You are?” She lifted her head to look up at me with teary eyes. “Right now, I feel like you hate the Walshes. I was telling Emma earlier that you and Reece really are friends, but part of me wonders if you’re going to start hating me too, once I become part of their family as well.”
I pressed another kiss to the top of her head. “I could never hate you and I don’t hate them. Reece and I are friends. I’d take a bullet for him and I know he feels the same way about me. We’ve been assholes, but when push comes to shove, he’s still one of my ride-or-die friends. I’ll work this out with him. I promise you from the bottom of my heart that I’ll make everything all right again. You were happy before we got here and I’ll make sure that you’re happy again before we leave.”
She sniffled. “I don’t even want to think about you leaving. You guys have been acting like asses, but I love having you here. Scott loves having Reece around, too. We’re all going to be family soon, you know. As someone who knows full well that you have to treasure your family while you’ve got them, it’s really difficult for me to see you guys going toe to toe against each other.”
“We’ll make it right,” I promised again, swearing to myself that I’d keep it. Blowing out a heavy breath, I realized several things that I’d been an idiot not to have realized before. I spoke my thoughts out loud. “I’ve been so fixated on my own wedding going off the rails that I think I’ve been trying to control yours to make it as perfect as it could be as some kind of redemption for me. It’s not fair, and I need to do better. I know I do.”
“What about Reece?” she asked, her tears slowing but still running in little rivulets down her cheeks. “What if he keeps insisting on paying for everything and you guys really do start hating each other?”
“We won’t,” I assured her. “It could never happen. If it ever somehow did, you can bet everything you’ve got that Parker and the others would fly down here in a heartbeat to slap some sense into us, and they’re big guys. We’ll be okay, Teddy. We’ll all be okay. I’m going to do better, and so is he.”
I wiped the tears from her cheeks with my thumbs and leaned forward to kiss her forehead as I pulled her back into my arms. “I’m sorry Mom and Dad aren’t here. I’m sorry I haven’t paid more attention to the fact that they’re not and that it should’ve been obvious that you’re missing them so much. What can I do to make it better? How can I make it up to you?”
She exhaled before lifting her head to look into my eyes. “Do you think we could bake some of Mom’s famous cookies together? Scott loves them. I’ve still got Dad’s old stereo in the kitchen. His CD collection is in the garage. Maybe we could listen to some music while we bake? I just need to feel close to them and I don’t know any other way.”
“Baking and listening to music?” I chuckled as I forced myself to nod. “Bring on the aprons, little sis. Let’s go get our cookies on.”
I fucking hated baking. Always had. I also usually made a point of avoiding the kind of music our dad used to love and I’d intentionally blocked all his favorite bands from my playlists. Every once in a while, one of his songs snuck in somehow and hearing it always hit me like a freight train.
The fact of the matter was that missing them wasn’t going to bring them back. We couldn’t live in the past and there was no sense in dwelling on what we’d lost or wasting our time wishing things were different.
Life was life and sometimes life sucked. Our parents had been on their way home from their first date night in years when they’d been hit by a drunk driver. In a split second, they’d been gone. It had been years since I’d even let any of my memories of them play out in my mind, but if Teddy needed to feel close to them right now, I’d roll with the punches.
Emma and Parker had both been right. These few weeks were about Scott and my sister. I needed to stop letting my own experiences cloud my decisions. I had to do whatever it took to make her happy.
And then I needed to somehow convince Reece to do the same.
12
EMMA
Teddy shook out her hands as we walked into the dress shop. She turned to look at me over her shoulder with big, anxious eyes as the bell jingled overhead. “This is it. The final fitting. I’m so nervous. How are you guys feeling?”
“Bloated,” Olivia said from the back of our little line of bridesmaids. “I feel like I’ve put on ten extra pounds in the last couple of weeks. What if my dress doesn’t fit right anymore? They do last-minute alterations, right? I swear I’ll pay them double their usual rate if they’ll just leave space for five or so more pounds before the wedding.”
Having known Olivia since elementary school, I laughed and waved her off. “Don’t be ridiculous. The wedding is more than a week away. They need to leave space for at least ten more extra pounds. You’re growing a tiny human, for heaven’s sake. If you weren’t gaining weight, we’d have been worried.”
“It’s not the tiny human,” she mumbled, sighing as the door swung shut behind us. “It’s the tiny human’s love for cake and carbs. I had three baked potatoes for dinner last night, then I had a sandwich, and then I topped it all off with a bowl of pasta.”
“Wow,” Meghan breathed and whistled between her teeth. She’d been a sophomore-year transplant who was only supposed to have stayed for a year while her dad had been finishing a project for work in the area, but more than a decade later, she was still here.
I loved her. The day she’d said she would be staying instead of moving after we finished the year had been one of the best days of my life. She linked her arm with Olivia’s, giving her a sympathetic smile before she winked. “I know people are always saying you shouldn’t eat for two when you’re pregnant, but who are they kidding? You are eating for two. Nobody else is fueling that little bundle of cells and growing from that into an actual baby takes plenty of juice.”
“If only it was juice it wanted,” she muttered but then let out a soft squeal when she looked up and noticed all the gorgeous dresses hanging on rails all around us. “This place is like my version of heaven, I swear. Do you think they’ll let me live in here? Especially in about six months from now when I get really big?”
Teddy laughed, but the sound was too high pitched. When I glanced back at her, I could see how stressed she was in the tightness of her movements and how her shoulders were pulled up almost all the way to her ears.
Once she noticed Teddy’s nerves, too, Meghan exchanged a loaded look with me. “Maybe we can rent one of these armchairs for you,” she suggested lightly, motioning toward the sitting nook.
As Meghan guided Olivia to the chair to give us a minute, I put my hand on Teddy’s arm.
“Fully realizing that this is easier said than done, try to relax a little. Everything was perfect when we were here two weeks ago, and Olivia hasn’t really gained ten whole pounds. It’ll be fine.”