“You have to stop,” I said, doing my best to keep my eyes firmly fixed on his instead of taking in the whole picture he cut sitting on the floor like that. “No more changes! I’m serious, Colt. This ends now.”
His head tilted just about an inch to the side, and his gaze kept burning into mine as he unrolled his long limbs and stood up. “What’s got you all riled up this time?”
Deliberately not looking at the sweat rolling down his chest, I averted my gaze instead and looked out the window behind him. “Teddy and I spent all day on those stupid centerpieces, and it’s all your and Reece’s fault.”
Colt started walking toward me, and the overwhelming urge to kiss and touch him overcame me. He was so close, half naked, and I could practically feel his gaze caressing me even though he was still a few feet away.
For the briefest of seconds, I considered giving in. Kissing him just as suddenly as he’d kissed me the other day. Then I remembered that Teddy was right next door, waiting for food I was supposed to be picking up, and I fled.
“I have to go pick up dinner,” I said hurriedly, spinning away from him and calling back over my shoulder. “Just remember, no more changes, Colt! None.”
After that, I ran down the hallway and out of the house, my heart pounding with how close I’d come to doing everything I’d been dreaming of for so many years.
11
COLT
Wondering what on earth was going on with Emma, I shut off the shower after my workout and changed into clean sweats and a T-shirt. As I left the bathroom, I heard the front door closing and my sister’s voice drifted up the stairs.
“Scott? Are you home? I’m back.”
Still drying my hair with my towel, I walked toward the landing and called down to her, just like we used to when we were kids. “I haven’t heard him come in yet. I’m here, though.”
“Oh.”
Frowning when I heard the note of disappointment in her tone, I pushed aside my thoughts about Emma and my feelings about how weird it was to be living in this house again. Then I went to hang up my towel. Once I was done, I headed downstairs to find Teddy.
Taking the steps two at a time, I was only halfway down when I caught sight of her lying on the couch in the living room, face down and with her arms hugging a cushion. She was letting out these soft little groans every few seconds, and my frown deepened.
“What’s wrong?” I asked, my voice coming out in a near growl as memories of the weeks before my own wedding flooded into my mind. “What did he do?”
“Who?” she asked into the pillow, not lifting her head to look at me.
“Scott.” I went over to the couch she was on and crouched down in front of her. “He’s done something, right? Why else would a bride be trying to suffocate herself in a cushion that says ‘Relax and Breathe’ on it?”
“I’m not trying to suffocate myself. I’m trying to decide if I’m going to call off the wedding and go live in a church as a nun.”
“Nuns live in nunneries, not churches,” I corrected gently.
Groaning angrily, she finally lifted up her head to glare at me. “Fine. I’ll go live in a nunnery, then.”
Now that I could see her face, it was immediately obvious that she was tired. Her eyes were red and watery and she was even a little bit pale. Extreme guilt punched me right in the chest as Emma’s instructions echoed in my ears. “Why do you want to go live in a nunnery, sis?”
She sighed, shrugging her shoulders as she sat up and pulled one of her legs in underneath her. “I guess I just didn’t expect a wedding to be so hard.”
The guilt I felt at her dejected tone nearly crushed me. I was almost certain that this was about all the changes I’d been pushing through. “You’d miss Scott if you become a nun. He’s perfect for you. I think you’d regret leaving him behind.”
“I know.” She sighed again, tears suddenly appearing in her eyes. “I just wish Mom and Dad were here, you know? It’s been a long time since I’ve missed them as much as I have been recently. With every decision we need to make, I can’t help but wonder what their advice would’ve been. Today, while we were putting together those centerpieces, I tried to picture what it would’ve been like if you, Scott, and Dad had been putting them together instead. I thought about Mom bringing you lemonade while you worked and us going over the seating arrangements with her while you were busy in the next room.”
“I miss them too,” I admitted quietly, pushing myself up and out of my crouch so I could sit down beside her. As soon as I did, I slid my arm around her shoulders and pulled her into me, dropping a kiss on the top of her head when she rested it against me. “They’re looking down on us, though. I know they are, and I know that they’re so proud of you and so happy for you.”
“Do you really think that?” she asked, her voice shaky and sad. “How could they be happy when I’m not? How could they be proud when all I feel is the intense urge to run far, far away from here?”
Whatever was left of my heart shattered into a million pieces and I nearly grunted out loud at the pain of those pieces slicing into the inside of my chest. “You’re not happy? If you really want to leave, I’ll take you anywhere you want to go, Teddy. Anywhere. But you love Scott. Why wouldn’t you want to marry him?”
“Idowant to marry him,” she sobbed, completely breaking down. She turned her head and buried her face in my chest at the same time that she lifted her hands and started pounding at me with her fists. “I’m not Anna, Colt. I don’t want to run away from him. I just don’t want the wedding to be so damn hard when all we really want is to get married.”
I felt terrible. Really fucking awful about all the hassles I’d been putting her through. “You’re right. You aren’t Anna and this isn’t my wedding. I’m so sorry, Teddy. The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy.”