“You know we love you, Tallulah,” Dad speaks up resolutely. “The reason we’re doing this is so you’ll be free.”
I nod, though his words don’t ring true for me.
Will I ever really be free?
I was born into this world. Cruel, soaked with blood and tears. I was trained to survive it, but right now, I don’t know if I even want to. I just want everything to be over.
“When will I see you again?” I ask Mom.
“I don’t know,” she admits brokenly. “You need to... You need to act fast. And then who knows when it will be safe for us to meet again. Do you need to go over the plan again?”
“No,” I shake my head. “I know what I have to do.”
I don’t finish the rest of my thoughts. Even though I know what has to be done, it doesn’t feel like it will accomplish anything. I’m still me - Tallulah Gunn, daughter of a cartel leader, liar, murderer.
“I just want to be alone,” I admit helplessly. “Please, go.”
My parents share a look and nod. They get Mathilda, who gets teary-eyed herself when it’s time to leave. She keeps asking me when she’ll see me again, and I don’t know what to tell her. It might be years or even decades.
I feed her some bullshit lies and watch them leave, faking a smile for their benefit. Once they’re gone, I go back to the window nook where Hades puts his head on my lap. I pet him as I stare out the window.
My mind is dancing around so many dangerous thoughts, but I always come back to one common denominator - my guardian.
Xavier Gunn.
The man I’ve been obsessed with for a lifetime. Not a day has gone by without me thinking about him, fantasizing about him.
My attachment to Xavier could very well be my downfall in the end.
I grit my teeth and force myself to focus. I will not allow myself to get weak. Not now, when I’m so close to my goal. Shutting my eyes, I remind myself this will all be over soon. And when it is, I’ll be free.
Truly free.
***
I wake up in the middle of the night, soaked in sweat. I feel like someone is watching me.
Shooting up in bed, I turn on the bedside lamp and let out a yelp when I see a dark figure on the armchair next to the bed. At first, I think it’s Xavier. But it’s not his familiar, muscular shape in front of me. It’s someone leaner, someone radiating anger.
“Hello, Tallulah,” Julio says from his seat.
I pull the duvet tightly around my chest, heart beating fast. “W-What are you doing here?”
“Thought I’d visit you one last time before I start my new job,” Julio mutters. “Your guardian promoted me to a sicario. You know what that means, don’t you, Tallulah?”
I don’t answer and he snarls at me, leaning forward in the chair and revealing his ghostly pale face.
“Don’t you?”
“Y-Yes,” I whisper.
“Then say it,” Julio grits out. “Tell me what a sicario is.”
“I-It’s a-a hitman,” I manage.
“Yes, that’s right,” Julio grins manically. “I get to kill more people. I don’t want to kill more people. The only person I want dead in this world is you, Tallulah Gunn.”
“I... I...”
“Shut up,” he hisses, abruptly getting up from his seat. I whistle for the dogs but they’re not in my room. As Julio approaches me, I tremble in fear of what he’s about to do. “You know exactly why I want to kill you, don’t you?”
“I-I’m-“
“Don’t fucking lie to me,” he growls. “You killed an innocent man today. Antonio didn’t touch you, did he?”
Crestfallen, I stare back at him.
“I know my brother,” Julio adds. “He’d never abuse a woman. Did he touch you?”
Wordlessly, I shake my head, and he lets out a heavy sigh. He seems relieved... Relieved and angry.
“I fucking knew it, you lying little bitch,” he says in a low, threatening voice. He stands before my bed while I shiver in fear. “I can’t kill you right now. I won’t, because it’ll mean I die tonight, too. But I want you to know something, Tallulah Gunn. At some point, I will come after you. I will rip away what matters most to you, and I’ll fucking enjoy breaking you until you wish you were as lucky as Antonio. At least he died fast. I won’t let you have that.”
“P-Please,” I whisper. “Go away. Stop threatening me. I’ll tell Xavier.”
“You’ll do no such thing,” he spits out. “Because my brother was onto you, and now I am, too. And the moment you spill my secrets, I’ll tell your guardian every-fucking-thing.”
I feel the color draining from my face. He smirks at me.
“It’ll just have to be our little secret,” he adds. “You will never tell Xavier. And for the rest of your life, you’ll sleep with one eye open, waiting for me to deliver.”