I give myself the evening to dwell on what happened. When I wake up, I won’t think of Antonio ever again.
But for now, I allow my mind to wander. To entertain the thought that Tallulah isn’t being completely honest with me. I know it’s not true. She’s a barely legal little girl. She’s not capable of this level of deception. And she’d never play games with me. She’s too obsessed with me to do anything of the sort.
As I lay my head against the pillow that night, I vow to myself not to doubt my ward again. But if we are to make this relationship work, there can’t be any secrets between us. I need to own Tallulah’s mind, not just her body. I need to make her a slave who obeys only her Master. And until the last doubt is erased from my mind, that won’t be possible... Tomorrow, I’ll start digging deeper to truly understand my ward.
Tallulah Gunn is a good girl.
I know she is.
Chapter 9
TALLULAH
I stumble back to my bedroom after witnessing Antonio’s murder in the dungeons. I rarely shy away from gruesome or gory scenes, but I couldn’t keep my eyes on Antonio as he died.
The bedroom door hits the wall hard as I walk inside and fall on the bed. The dogs are next to me in an instant, wagging their tails and licking me excitedly, but I don’t think they can help with my anguish.
My heart is breaking.
Why is my heart breaking?
I’ve been trained to handle death. Why is my conscience waking up now? Antonio was a chess piece... a means to an end. His death is justified. He had to die, because he wouldn’t shut up.
I press my fisted hands against my eyes, rubbing them until I see blotches. There’s a sudden desire to do more. Hurt myself.
I shake my head to get the thought out. Pull myself up on the bed and nuzzle the dogs as my mind races.
Antonio is dead.
Antonio had to die.
But Antonio was innocent, and I lied, knowing full well what my words would mean for him. And the way he died... what Xavier made his brother do is unspeakable. I didn’t see just one man die today; I saw too. Julio must be a husk of a man now.
I shut my eyes tightly, fighting off tears.
There’s a knock on my door but I don’t respond. I pray it’s not Xavier, because I’ll be unable to play the role of his bratty ward right now. Luckily for me, it’s my family at the door and my bottom lip wobbles as they come inside.
“Doggies!” Mathilda jumps on the bed with me, her sweet smile innocent and oblivious to what just happened in the dungeons. I cry, but there’s still a smile on my face even though it’s faltering.
Dad motions for me to step aside, and I leave my sister with the dogs, joining my parents on the window nook next to my bookcase. They see the ivory roses barring my windows, but say nothing. I guess they knew what to expect with Xavier.
“Are you okay?” Mom asks worriedly, stroking my hand. I snatch it away and shake my head, my hands now trembling in my lap. “I know it was hard, honey. I know.”
“You don’t,” I whisper. “You weren’t even there.”
“I was,” Dad says, laying a firm hand on my shoulder. “I saw it with my own eyes. And he deserved it for putting his filthy fingers on you.”
“Don’t you understand?” I groan, jumping up from the seat and running my shaky fingers through my hair. Pearl pins drop from my mane, making the blonde curls tumble down my back. I press my fingers against my temples. “He didn’t touch me. He didn’t assault me. I lied.”
“Oh, Tallulah...” Mom’s voice falters. Even she’s run out of comforting things to say.
“Yeah,” I reply bitterly. “I killed an innocent man.”
“You didn’t kill him,” Dad reminds me. “Julio did.”
“Because Xavier made him. Because of me,” I spit out. “Face it, if he wasn’t so suspicious, he’d still be here. And now he’s dead. And it’s all my fault.”
“Sometimes sacrifices need to be made,” Mom pipes up as I give her an incredulous look.
“Sacrifices?” I repeat, laughing bitterly. “What, like my sacrifice isn’t enough? The past few years, the reason I was born? Committing my life to Xavier? That’s not enough?”
“Tallulah, please,” Dad says sternly. “They’ll hear you.”
“I don’t give a shit.”
Dad’s mouth sets into a line. “Do I need to remind you of your purpose, Tallulah?”
“No,” I hiss. “I already know. I’m a weapon. But all I wanted was to be normal. Like Mathilda. Why can’t I have a normal life? It’s unfair.”
My voice breaks over the words and now I’m sobbing. I can feel my little sister worriedly watching from the bed while Hades and Zeus whimper for attention. I know I’m breaking down. The pressure is getting to me.