“I think you’ve been punishing yourself for something and you don’t even realize it. That there’s a man inside there,” she pressed her palm to my chest, eyes intent on mine. “I doubt you’d even recognize him anymore. But yes, I think we’re not as different as you think. And I believe in listening to your heart. At first, mine said to stay away from the grumpy bear. But then it started saying to give him a chance. So here we are.”
“Here we are,” I agreed in a low voice.
Lola chewed her lips, eyes darting between mine searchingly.
I put my finger under her chin and lifted her face, leaning down to take her mouth in mine. She was soft and warm. I slid my arms around her back, loving the way she seemed to always start off stiff and then melt into my touch.
I kissed her there on the porch while I knew my niece was sleeping soundly on the couch. I kissed her while I replayed our conversation and couldn’t help wondering if this was just a taste of what she’d meant. Because when my lips were on hers, I couldn’t bring myself to care about work–not in the way I usually did. All that seemed to matter was the way she felt under my hands–small and delicate and fragile. I wanted to keep her. The feeling was so fierce it almost hurt.
Lola was something precious. She was fleeting, like the view of a sunset glimpsed through the trees from the window of a bus. There was no stopping the bus. There was no way to stop the sun from sinking out of view. All you could do was recognize the beauty of what you’d seen and try to memorize it.
That was Lola. I had no doubts she was going to pass through my life. She’d realize she was wrong about me and learn she deserved better. She’d move on to find her perfect happy ever after and leave me to wallow in my cold existence. But maybe it wasn’t so wrong to try to enjoy what this was while it lasted.
I kissed her deeper, loving the little moan that slipped from her mouth.
Then her dog started scratching at the sliding door and she pulled back, gaze still locked on mine. She ran her thumb across her puffy, reddened lips as if in awe, and then smiled. “Termite needs to poop. She always poops this time of night.”
I shook my head. “Those are not the words I expected to come out of your mouth.”
Lola looked suddenly devious. She gripped my shirt in her fist, pulling herself closer and tilting her head up to mine. “What? Were you expecting me to profess my undying love because you’re an amazing kisser?”
I smirked. “Something like that.”
“Nope,” she said lightly, dusting off my shirt. “That wasn’t it.”
I watched her go and felt something inside me that had been cold for as long as I could remember flicker with heat.
Dangerous. A girl like this was dangerous as hell. With one look, she might be capable of making me throw away everything I thought I’d cared about. But I had to remember this couldn’t last. I wasn’t the kind of man women committed to. I was a temporary distraction. A little fun along their way to their final destination.
32
LOLA
I went through my usual morning routine at work. Christian’s list of tasks for the day was shorter than usual, so I spent even more time making sure I passed off duties to the right people. It felt odd knowing my time tutoring Max was coming to an end in just a few days, and I found my thoughts preoccupied with the idea. She was starting school at Fairhope High in six days, and I’d agreed to start picking her up and bringing her back to my apartment every day.
Sure, I was excited, but it felt beyond weird. I also wondered how things were going to play out between me and Christian. Would he spend most nights at my place like he had last night? Or was that kind of thing going to be a rare exception to him hiding away in his tower?
I must’ve been wearing my thoughts on my face, because Paisley nudged me in the shoulder, leaning in to meet my eyes. “Everything okay in paradise?” she asked. Paisley had on a yellow dress with buttons all the way up the middle with a jean jacket and black pumps. As usual, she looked good enough that she was probably already dressed for a date after work.
“Yep,” I said. “And I have some juicy information, but you need to get Cassie to meet me in the breakroom for it. Be there in five minutes, okay?”
Paisley’s eyes lit up and she rushed off toward where Cassie was pacing back and forth, arguing about something on a phone call by her desk.