“A pony?” I asked.
She waved her hand at me, annoyed. “Yes. One day I want to have a huge backyard with horses and chickens. I want one really big, grumpy rooster who attacks me when I try to feed the chickens. Maybe some goats who like to stand on things,” she was talking so fast I almost couldn’t understand her. She blinked, then shook her head and continued. “The point is I decided I didn’t care how scary or hard it was. I wanted to start over and make the life I deserved for myself. And everybody deserves to be happy, okay? Even grumpy, bossy CEOs who think they don’t.”
“Why would you want the rooster to attack you?”
“Would you focus on the bigger picture here? I’m going to show you what I learned whether you like it or not. I’m not going to rest until you’re smiling so wide your cheeks hurt.”
“How do you suppose you’ll accomplish this?”
“With my bubbly, charming disposition and a little planning. What is your favorite thing to do?”
“I suppose I enjoy when I’ve cleared my email inbox.”
She slumped forward, giving me dead eyes. “Come on, Christian. Snap out of work robot mode. What is something normal that makes you happy. And it can’t be work related.”
I shook my head. “I don’t know?”
Lola surprised me by giving me a little slap on the cheek and glaring, fists on her hips. “Try harder.”
I grinned. “I used to play basketball as a kid with my brothers. I enjoyed when I beat them.”
“Perfect! What else?”
“That’s not enough?”
“I need more, Stones.”
I smirked. “Apple pie with ice cream. My grandmother used to make it for Thanksgiving and I would hardly eat anything to make sure I had room to stuff myself on it.”
Lola clapped her hands. “More. Give me more.”
I looked up, thinking hard. I hadn’t even thought about any of this stuff in so long. It admittedly felt oddly good to dredge up old memories–memories from before I became so consumed with work. “Riding my bike at night. My brothers and I used to sneak out after dark and bike to the lake. We’d try to see who could swim out to the platform the fastest. Sometimes we’d bring girls with us,” I added.
“See? There is a human inside there after all. Where was this lake?”
“Maybe just an hour or so from here in this place called Monument.”
“Wait, you grew up here?”
I shrugged. “So what?”
“Is that why you really brought Stone Financial here? Are you telling me there’s a sentimental side to you?”
“No,” I snapped. “I was making a business decision. It has nothing to do with where I grew up.”
She wiggled her eyebrows, then winked. “Right. Of course not.”
“What about you?” I asked, hoping to change the subject. “What makes you happy?”
Unlike me, Lola didn’t have to stop and think. “Being in scenic places. Hikes, sightseeing, cheesy bus tours of historic places. I like art galleries and weird concerts where just a few drunken people are having the times of their lives in front of the stage. Holding hands during sunset. Horses, goats, and grumpy roosters.”
I chuckled. “What is it with you and the animals?”
“My friend growing up had an uncle in upstate New York with a hundred acres and a farm. She would always invite me when her family went to visit, and after life in the city, it felt like such an escape. Everything just slowed down. You could close your eyes and drink it all in. I don’t know, it just felt so refreshing. We’d go down by the stream and throw rocks while the horses were grazing in the grass. Sometimes we’d bring our swimsuits and play in the water and the farm dogs would join us. Or we’d sit on the porch in the rocking chairs and listen to the wind with the sun on our faces.” Lola shrugged, smiling in a way that made me feel like I could almost see what she was seeing. “It was what happiness felt like. I’ve never forgotten that feeling. I think it’s why I couldn’t really convince myself my life in New York was right. I knew what it really felt like to be happy–to be content. And that wasn’t it. So I’m going to keep trying until I find that for myself, no matter what it takes.”
“And you think dating me has a chance of getting you that feeling?” I asked. I felt suddenly dirty for even letting this happen. Her idea of what she wanted was so pure and innocent. It felt so good. It had been a long time since I felt good. I certainly wasn’t the man to give her a future like that. So what was I doing by letting her tether herself to me? I was just delaying her chance of reaching that future.