Realizing he’s a guest in this house and might not even know where the bathroom is, I abandon the groceries to show him the shower and get him a towel.
As soon as we’re far enough away from my mom, he grabs my wrist and hauls me into the bathroom with him.
I glance at the door as he closes it and blocks it with his body, trapping me in here with him. “Um, my mom is literally right out there. I told you nothing could happen in here.”
“What’s wrong?” he asks.
“Nothing.”
“Bullshit. Try again.”
I sigh, avoiding his gaze. “Nothing is wrong, I just don’t want my mom to think… I don’t know, that we’re doing something we shouldn’t be in here.”
“I don’t think your mom has anything to do with it. I’ll ask one more time. What is wrong?”
I open my mouth to say nothing, but he said he’d only ask once more, and I don’t know what Dare’s next move is when his first attempt doesn’t work. “I heard some things today,” I finally say, so hesitant I don’t look him in the face.
He doesn’t sound surprised. “What kind of things?”
“Discouraging things.”
“Like?”
My heart aches, and on the surface, I don’t want any more pain, but deep down, I know I should rip off the Band-aid. “Like you and Anae have an open relationship?”
He shakes his head. “No, we don’t.”
“You’re not allowed to fuck other girls?”
He misses a beat. “I am,” he says slowly. “But it’s not an open relationship.”
“How is that not an open relationship?”
He sighs, looking irritated. “You really want to talk about the mechanics of my relationship with Anae?”
“No. I don’t want there to be a relationship with Anae. I’m such a fucking simple-minded idiot, apparently, it never occurred to me you guys had some kind of arrangement. I just thought you liked me, and—”
“I do like you,” he interrupts.
“I feel so stupid,” I say, raking my hands through my hair. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
His jaw locks. I don’t expect this to go well. Honestly, I expect it will probably be the end. I have to play the crazy girl, and he has an ideal set-up with someone else. Why wouldn’t it?
He closes the distance between us, grabbing my jaw and forcing me to look up at him. “You said you were going to trust me. Do you?”
“Yes, but—”
“No, not but,” he says, not letting me finish. Slowly and deliberately, he says, “The deal was, if you trust me, I will not give you a reason not to. Wasn’t that the deal?”
My heart thuds. “Yes.”
He nods carefully, holding my gaze. “So why aren’t you trusting me?”
“Because there is an awful lot you left out.”
“Left out, yes. I didn’t lie about it.”
“That seems like a technicality. If I’m just one of many girls you feel like fucking aside from your girlfriend, I think I deserved to know that beforehand. I never would have…” I swallow, unable to get the awful words out.
His tone is calm, measured. “You never would have what?”
“Last night wouldn’t have happened,” I say softly.
The confession brings the sting of tears to my eyes. They’re glistening on the surface before I can stop them.
“Why are you crying?” he asks.
“Because you’re going to break my heart,” I whisper.
His grip on my jaw tightens. He directs my gaze back to his and looks me dead in the eye. “No, I am not.”
“You already are,” I tell him, trying to pull away, but he doesn’t let go. “I don’t know how Anae does it, but I can’t. I can’t be emotionally invested in someone who’s sleeping with other people. I didn’t ask before because it wasn’t my business and we weren’t even supposed to be… anything, but after last night…” I blink away the tears.
“Tell me what you need to feel better,” he says.
“I need you to break up with Anae,” I blurt.
His lips thin like he expected that to be my response, but he really hoped it wouldn’t be.
That fucking sucks.
“I can’t do that right now,” he says carefully.
I pry his fingers off my jaw and back away from him. “You mean you don’t want to.”
“No, I mean I can’t. It’s complicated. Getting out of a relationship with Anae isn’t that simple. Her attachment to me isn’t emotional, but I’m a significant part of her identity and the life she wants. She gives me the leeway she does because she thinks it will keep me around. She doesn’t understand things like love, she understands transactions. I fit the image she wants to be associated with. Just because she doesn’t love me does not mean she’ll let me go.”
I shake my head because that sounds like utter bullshit.
“I know how this sounds,” he says, seeming to realize I’m not buying it. “You don’t know her, Aubrey. You don’t know what she’s like. No one does.”