I don’t know how I’ll even make it through the rest of the school year here if I report their king for his actual crimes.
I’m also just not sure I want to.
But now I have the option.
Because some of the things Anae said combined with some of the things Dare himself has said put a question in my mind that wasn’t there before: has he done this to other girls?
If I’m the first, it’s my call.
But if I’m not? It doesn’t matter how I feel, or how much more I will suffer for telling the truth; I will have to speak up.
Chapter forty-two
Aubrey
As soon as Mom is in bed for the night, I go to my room.
I don’t feel safe there right now, but I wouldn’t feel any safer in any other part of the house. The locks haven’t been changed, and Dare got in last night with no signs of forced entry, so if he wants to get to me, he will.
I don’t feel like putting myself through waiting for him to show up outside my window tonight, so before I get in bed, I unlock the window and crack it so he can just push it up when he gets here.
We haven’t spoken so I don’t know for a fact he will be here, but I’m expecting him.
My body feels tired, but I don’t even try to go to sleep.
I wear a big baggy T-shirt and baggy, blue-striped sleep shorts. My hair is down, my face clean of make-up. I don’t try to look cute for him. I don’t want to.
I’m sitting on the bed on top of my bedding with my legs curled up, hugging my knees to my chest, when I hear the window open.
My heart drops instinctively at the sound of someone invading my bedroom, but of course, I know who the invader is.
Out of the corner of my eye, I see that Dare is dressed in a pair of fitted black sweats and a crisp white T-shirt with his jacket over it. He puts the window down and locks it, then turns back to face me.
I’m sitting in the dark, but he doesn’t turn on the light.
I probably look like a creepy ghost girl in a horror movie. I kind of feel like one, too.
All day since Hannah left, I’ve felt hollow. Without her light, the darkness that surrounds me looms more heavily. Without her to distract me, I have all this heavy shit to occupy my mind.
Dare doesn’t say anything at first, just walks over and stands at the foot of my bed.
He feels like a total stranger and the man I love at the same time, and the confusing thing is, right now, he’s both.
“So,” he finally says, breaking the heavy silence. “Last night was fun, huh?”
I know he isn’t serious, but the absurdity of that word being used to refer to last night nearly tears the fragile thread my sanity is holding on by.
I look down at the bed instead of up at him. “Why does hanging out with you always have to be so dangerous?”
The bed sags beneath his weight as he takes a seat and touches my back. “Don’t worry, you’ll get used to it,” he rumbles, doing his part to echo history.
I feel like I’ve lived a thousand years since that day on the beach with him. I shake my head, pulling my legs closer, and whisper, “What if I don’t want to?”
“You don’t have to.” He leans in and kisses my shoulder through the fabric. “Come on, I was just kidding.”
“Nothing about this is funny.”
“You’re right.” He quiets for a minute. “I know last night was rough, Aubrey. I promise I’ll never put you through something like that again. I just had to untangle a mess I was already in when I met you. This was the only way.”
“Some guys break up with their girlfriends. You ruin their lives.”
He looks at me, but I don’t look back. “I had no choice, Aubrey. Anae is fucking crazy. She wasn’t going to let go.”
“I get that,” I say, because I do. Anae is clearly a disturbed individual.
“There wasn’t another way out. Believe me, if I could have ended it without putting you through all that, I would have. She would have come after you with or without me, but without me, I wouldn’t have been there to stop her.”
I nod. “Was it her idea or yours?” Finally, I meet his gaze. “Killing me, I mean.”
His gaze is solemn. “I was never going to kill you.”
“Could’ve fooled me.”
“I had to fool you,” he says seriously. “I had one chance, and I was already playing with a wild card. If she got it in her head that you weren’t scared enough and you knew you weren’t in real danger, she would have turned on me before I had the chance to turn on her.”