I look down guiltily and feel the chain of my necklace move across my skin.
I touch it.
I’d forgotten that was there.
I don’t know how after last night.
Anae’s trophy.
I unhook it from around my neck. Hannah watches, instinctively putting her hand up to catch it when I offer it to her.
“What’s this?” she asks.
“Dare bought it for me. It’s from Dior, so it’s probably expensive. Take it. Maybe you can sell it and get some money. You should have something for yourself.”
“Oh, no, I can’t take your necklace…”
“Please.” I insist, closing her hand around it. “I want you to have it.”
She looks up at me. “Are you sure Dare won’t get mad?”
I shrug. “I doubt it. If he thinks I’d still want it after last night, he’s crazier than I realize.” Obviously, she doesn’t understand what the pretty necklace reminds me of now, so I offer a brief explanation. “From what I’ve gleaned, Anae picked it out. Dare bought it for me, but told her she could have it as a ‘trophy’ after they killed me.”
Hannah loses a shade of color. “What?”
“He didn’t mean it, he was playing her, but…”
She looks at the necklace. “Yikes.”
“Yeah, big yikes.”
Sighing, Hannah says, “And here I thought Anae was bad.”
“They’re both terrible,” I state honestly. “He’s not better or worse than her, he’s just smarter.”
“Are you going to leave him?” she asks tentatively.
I offer a ghost of a smile. “I don’t think I can.”
Hannah’s brow furrows and she looks down, absently shifting her weight from foot to foot. “I don’t want you to stay in this relationship because of that threat he made, Aubrey. I mean, I’m sure you’re not, but if you are… don’t.”
“We both know he wasn’t bluffing,” I state, meeting her gaze.
She shrugs. “No, he wasn’t, but things are different now. He and Anae are definitely split up, and his threat itself wouldn’t have been the worst of it, honestly. He knew Anae would torment me after the fact and make my life unbearable. She can’t torture me if she’s in prison.”
That is true.
“So, he can’t hurt me like he could have before. Coming for me might not even be worth it to him without Anae here to support the punishment. Maybe he’ll just back off.”
She clearly doesn’t know Dare the way I do.
“That’s not the only thing,” I say softly, afraid of her judging me even though Hannah never has before. I swallow, then look up at her with my heart in my throat. “I don’t know how I feel about him.”
It feels like a shameful admission. If she were someone more callous, she might take one look at my traumatized ass and write me off as an absolute moron, but Hannah is compassionate all the way down to her bones. Rather than judge me, she grabs me and gives me another hug she knows I need.
“What you’ve been through with him… it’s not normal, and I’m sure it has been a lot to process. I don’t blame you for being confused, or still feeling some attachment to him. He has messed with your heart, and he’s so manipulative, I’m sure he was really good at it.” She pulls back, still holding my shoulders, and meets my gaze earnestly. “But he is abusive, Aubrey, and I hope with all my heart you get away from him.”
I nod because I know she’s right, but I also know it’s not that simple.
She doesn’t know him the way I do.
Or, I guess, the way I thought I did.
I’m not sure what was real and what wasn’t after last night. I’ve had thoughts, brief moments of clarity, where it hit me that maybe it doesn’t matter. Real, fake—I should just walk away from it all, regardless.
And I know he won’t let me walk away, but I’m actually not an idiot, and I’ve learned from watching my ruthless, psychotic, brilliant boyfriend mow over everything and everyone in his path to get his way.
Dare always has an insurance policy for himself, just in case he needs it.
This time, I made one for myself.
While I was being examined, I had a rape kit done.
I haven’t decided if I’ll actually report him or not. I need to talk to Dare first and find out the truth about some of the things I heard last night.
If I do go after him, I know it will be a brutal road for me. I know I’ll be massacred in the court of public opinion, painted as the villain while he’s propped up by his money, his status, his popularity. His general fucking handsomeness and all the things that, on the surface, make him look just fucking lovely.
I won’t look lovely, but I’m the one who was hurt.
I know what’s truth and illusion here because it’s my experience and I’ve lived it, but the world won’t know. Baymont won’t know. They’ll make their judgments, and I know I’ll be the one found guilty.