Karim couldn’t bear that she saw what they had as a necessity rather than a gift. Not when to him it was so much more.
He skidded to his knees before her, gathering her hands and drawing them against his thudding heart. He couldn’t simply ignore her words about an arranged marriage, let them hang as if they meant nothing. Even if the alternative meant risking everything.
It would be the biggest gamble of his life, but he refused to imagine failing. Besides, he’d only held back because he hadn’t wanted to put pressure on her.
‘Our marriage is much more than that, Safiyah.’
She nodded, firming her mouth. Yet still she didn’t meet his gaze. ‘Yes, it’s for the best. For Tarek and—’
‘Much as I care for Tarek,’ he murmured, ‘this isn’t about him. Or even about the little one you’re carrying now.’
Karim felt a fillip of excitement, just speaking of their unborn baby, yet he couldn’t allow himself to be distracted.
‘Yes, there’s also Assara. You’re doing a wonderful job—’
‘Not Assara, either.’
At his words her head jerked up, wide eyes catching his. How often he’d watched those velvety eyes haze with delight as he took her to rapture. How often he’d watched them dance with pleasure as they rode, or when they played with Tarek.
Karim turned her hands, pressing her palms to his chest where his heart thundered, letting her feel how she affected him.
‘I want this marriage, Safiyah. I wantyou. I always have. Even when I pretended I didn’t.’
Now the moment of truth was here Karim found it easier than he’d believed possible. He’d been taught to avoid discussing emotions, as if the mere mention of them would weaken his masculinity. What a crock that was. He’d never felt stronger or more determined.
Clamping her palms with one hand, he lifted the other to her face, feeling the dewy softness of her delicate flesh. ‘I love you, Safiyah. I love you with every fibre of my being, with every thought and every breath I take.’
He paused and hefted air into his overworked lungs, watching emotions flicker across her features.
‘Don’t! Please don’t!’
Safiyah tried to free her hands but he held them fast.
She looked up at him with over-bright eyes. ‘I’d rather you were honest with me than have you say what you think I want to hear.’
Her mouth crumpled, and with it something inside Karim’s chest. He couldn’t bear to see her hurting so.
It took a moment only for him to slide his arms around her and lift her high against his chest as he rose to his feet. From this angle he could see the wild throb of her pulse in her throat and her convulsive swallow.
Because he’d hurt her. Not just today but over years.
‘Iambeing honest, Safiyah. For the first time ever I’m sharing how I really feel.’ He paused, willing her to believe him. ‘I don’t know if I can ever make up for the mess I’ve made of things. When I believed the worst of you. When I never even followed up to make sure you were okay all those years ago.’
He strode to the long sofa and sank there, cradling her on his lap. It felt right, holding her like this, soft and warm in his arms. He never wanted to let her go. Surely it was a good sign that she didn’t struggle to get away?
‘I was hurting so much, Safiyah, because I loved you even though I hadn’t admitted it to myself. But that’s no excuse. You needed me and I turned my back on you.’
His voice cracked as he thought of her, scared for her sister, grieving for her father, faced with the prospect of marrying a stranger.
Dark eyes locked on his as she tipped her head back, and for once Karim didn’t try to mask his feelings as he’d been trained to. His love for her swelled and filled him till he thought he might burst.
‘Karim…?’
Her eyes, pansy-dark yet flecked with amber, held his so intently he felt raw inside, with everything he felt, every secret, laid bare. It was like facing his conscience.
‘It’s true, my love.’
He lifted her palm and pressed his mouth to it, scattering fervent kisses there. But not for long. This had to be said.