He stepped back. “Forget it. I’ll find somewhere to sleep.”
“No.” She scrambled to her feet. “Wait, just give me a minute.”
He whirled around so fast, she stumbled back against the bed. He grabbed her wrist to keep her from falling, hauling her up against him. “If it’s right, you shouldn’t have to think about it.”
She yanked her hand out of his grasp. “You think this is so easy for me? Five days ago, I was working my ass off for partner, and I had an uncomplicated relationship with you. Mutually beneficial, I think we had described it before. Now, I suddenly find out I don’t like my job. You want an actual relationship, and my whole life is shit. Can you see why this is all so fucked up for me? Why I might need a few minutes to think about it?”
“Maybe that’s your problem, Brigid. You think too much. What does your heart tell you?”
“I don’t know!” She wailed. “I’ve never listened to it before.”
He went so still, so quiet for several long moments, she worried he had tuned her out. Her father used to do that whenever she got emotional or he didn’t like the way she was acting. She held her breath, unsure of what to do. Finally, he groaned and yanked her to his chest, enfolding her in a bear hug. She shuddered and went limp against him, the relief so overwhelming if he hadn’t been holding her up, she probably would have collapsed to the floor.
He kissed the top of her head and rubbed his cheek against her. “Brigid, I know this is hard for you, baby. Trust me and let me in. We can have so much more together. I may not be a lawyer, but I care for you. Just give me a chance.”
She nodded against his chest, the steady beating of his heart soothing her, reassuring her of his presence. This was what she had always been needing. She had thought it was always the sex but it was the connection they had, the intimacy she had felt when she was with him. No judgment, no need to prove herself. Grady might have been the first person in her life who accepted her for who she was, outside of the girls, of course. Something inside always knew that, even as she denied it all along.
Could she risk a chance with him?
* * *
Grady rested his chin on Brigid’s head and sighed, the frustration draining out of him, replaced by tension of a whole other sort. Brigid was almost boneless in his arms, not the spitfire he had been fighting with for the past four years. Yeah, it had added some spice to their encounters. A little angry sex was never a bad thing. But he didn’t want to be fighting for the rest of his life and, finally, it seemed he had made a breakthrough in Brigid’s massive wall around her heart and soul. It had crumbled quicker than he had thought, but he worried it had been too easy and he feared something else might have been damaged along with the wall. Or maybe there were other traps laid, and this was just the preliminary foray. Either way, he wasn’t letting her go, not tonight. He’d solidify his position and hope for the best tomorrow.
He placed two fingers under her chin and tilted her up to his gaze. Her eyes sparkled with uncertainty but no tears, thank goodness. He couldn’t have stood her tears. But Brigid was stronger than that. Even stripped down bare, nothing brought her to tears. He lowered his head and kissed her softly on the lips, a gentle seduction of her senses, designed to pull her in, to entice her. A breathy sigh escaped in a slow exhale, and she sagged against him, surrendering completely to him. He slid his hands down her back and cupped the cheeks of her ass, gripping them firmly as he pulled her against his erection. She wound her arms around his neck and tugged the longer strands of his hair that tickled his neck. He trailed his lips down the side of her neck, licking the salty moisture that gathered on her skin. He nipped the wildly beating pulse at her neck and moaned long and low, her head falling back as she opened herself up to him, physically and emotionally.
He walked her backward a few steps until her knees hit the mattress. She sat back on the bed and he followed her down, lying next to her, lips dipping into the notch at the base of her throat, then lower to trace the edge of the lace of her tank top with his tongue. She shuddered, her breath jagged and rough.
He ran a hand under her top to cup her breast, his thumb running over the sensitive tip, once, then twice. She jerked, pushing into his hand with a plea. “Please, Grady. Stop teasing.”
He grinned against her skin, loving the teasing as opposed to their usual hurried, almost frenetic sex. “What do you want, Brigid? This?” He kissed the gently swelling mounds. “Or this?” He nipped her, then soothed the sting with little licks. “Or this?”
He moved down and captured her other nipple in his mouth through the cotton top, biting down lightly, then sucking. Her breath caught in her throat and her back bowed under him, almost bucking him off.
“Oh no, we can’t have that. You need to stay still, Brigid.” He draped a leg across her lower body, and she arched into him, trying to get closer.
“Grady, please.” Her breathy whisper made him grin.
He tugged her tank up, baring her breasts completely and caressed the swollen mounds, plumping them. He teased one nipple with tiny lashes of his tongue and teeth while his fingers twisted and tormented the other, then he switched until she writhed on the bed, pleading for more. Only then did he make his way down her stomach, skimming her skin until he met the lace of her boy shorts.
“Did I ever tell you how sexy I find these?”
“And I was just wishing I had sexier lingerie with me,” she whispered.
“Not on my account. I find the lace edging on these hotter than a thong any day of the week. Never change on my account, Brigid.”
She froze under him, and he paused. “But I am changing. You’re changing me.”
He realized in an instant that he had made a tactical error, threw her out of the moment. He quickly moved up her body, settled his hips between her thighs and framed her face with his hands, forcing her to look at him.
“Brigid, I only want you to be happy. If you don’t want to change, you don’t have to. I love you the way you are.”
Her eyes opened wide, and panic reflected in them. “You love me?”
He cursed in his head. So not the way to tell her that. Actually, it was probably the best way to scare her off.
But the words were out there. “Yes, I do. And I don’t expect you to say it back. Not now, only when you’re ready. No pressure.”
Her freakout hadn’t lessened at his words. “I don’t know what to say. I care about you, but I’m not sure I can say I love you. Not now.”