Maybe I should beat him to the punch.
But I don’t. I don’t want to break up with him, and I don’t want the rest of this beer, and I don’t want to stay here in this room to finish this awkward conversation.
I stand up and walk over to him in a mostly straight line. “I’m going to go.”
Rob looks up at me. “I’ll walk you over to your place.”
“Don’t worry about it. I’ll be fine.”
“I don’t think you should go alone.”
"A lot of crime happens on campus?"
“No, not at all.”
“Then why are you worried? I can handle myself.”
“The way you drank just now suggests otherwise.”
“Don’t judge me.”
He grits his teeth. “After everything with my mom and her drugs… let’s just say I’m a little sensitive if people drink more than they can handle.”
“You want proof I’m okay? Fine.” I pat my head and then start to rub my stomach at the same time. “See? All good.”
“You’re supposed to do it simultaneously,” he points out.
“Fine.” I stop and then start to rub the top of my head and pat my stomach.
Rob smiles slightly. “You’re doing great.”
“See?”
“But, uh, normally, it’s pat head and rub stomach.”
“No biggie.” I stop and start again, but this time, I’m patting both. “Screw it.”
He laughs and smiles at me, and maybe we will be all right.
Or maybe we’ll come out of this as friends and only friends.
I guess there are worse things.
I duck out of there, trying to avoid everyone else, and I have to admit that when the cool air hits me, I am feeling the alcohol. I wouldn’t say I’m drunk, but I’m definitely tipsy. At least I’m not stumbling, but I’m not so sure about walking in a totally straight line.
Instead of heading directly back to my room, I opt to walk some and try to sober up. I’ll never sleep tonight if I can’t shut off my mind, and right now, it’s racing, and I’m having a hundred thousand thoughts a second, most of them focusing on what an idiot I am and how I have way too big of a mouth.
I’m not sure how long I’ve been walking. No one’s come up to me, not that there are a lot of people out and about at this time of night. It’s getting late, and I need to get back on track with my courses. I can’t oversleep and skip anymore. Not for any reason. Well, an emergency with my mom would get me to, but nothing else. Okay, so if something came up with Kyle or Erika, too, but they have their lives together a lot more than I do. Erika has her guys, and Kyle’s at college with a bunch of friends… Although Father fucking around and mucking up Kyle’s love life is inexcusable. It never should’ve happened, and I feel so bad for him.
Shit. What if Kyle’s just putting on a good show for me? What if he actually feels alone and that’s why he wants me to transfer?
My next break is for Thanksgiving. I’ll go out to his place. That should be fun, right? We’re the only family we have, State-side. We need to stick together, us Quakes.
Ugh. Man. I hate that last name. I wonder how I can go about changing it. Maybe to Mom’s maiden name. Would Kyle want to do that too? It probably costs money, though. Shit. I really do need to stop drinking because I need to get a job, and I would much rather it be serving tables rather than dancing on them.
Just then, a hand lands on my shoulder.
I grab the wrist with both hands, squat down low, and yank hard on the arm to throw the person over my shoulder. I stumble a bit. The person weighed more than I expected, not that I really should have expected anything since I didn’t even know if it was a guy or a girl who touched me, and maybe it’s the alcohol, too, that’s making me stumble.