I told the doctor it was fine for Leo to know about the tests, as he’s the one paying for them.
"When do we get the results?" Leo asks.
I peel the skin from my hands as they both start talking about my medication. I know it's my own fault. I've not really been putting lotion on, and it's starting to really hurt me now.
Leo's hand moves to mine to stop me from peeling the skin. "You need to stop, or it won't heal," he tells me, and my hand stops.
"Hope, if you can just look after yourself, use the medication and the lotion for a few weeks, the skin will be a lot better, and the pain will be a lot less," the doctor tells me. She turns to Leo for a moment then back to me, "the results will be about a week, and as soon as they come in, I will give you a call."
I place my hands on my legs. It does sound nice not being in so much pain, seeing my hands with smooth skin.
The doctor continues, "You can put the lotion on a few times a day, so carry it with you and drink plenty of water."
"We'll do all that," Leo says as he stands up. "I'll call you tomorrow, and we'll be back in a month." I stand with Leo, and we leave the doctor's office.
"John, we need a pit stop to the store," Leo tells his driver, and I hear John tell him yes as I climb into the car and sit down.
I look out of the window as we drive, leaning my head against the coldness of the glass. I feel a little under the weather and have a heavy head. I’m really tired.
Leo takes my hand in his. "Hope, are you okay?"
"Yeah, just tired."
He pulls me closer to him. "Get some sleep." He puts his arm around my shoulder, and I lean into him placing my head on his chest, I listen to the beat of his heart. The rhythm starts to settle, it's not going as fast anymore. My eyes are getting heavy, his scent is settling over me, and I smile to myself.
"Hope, I’m just going to climb out, you get some sleep." He softly places my head on the car seat and I hear the car door opening and closing.
* * *
Soft hands touch my body making me open my eyes fast.
"Hey, it’s just me," Leo tries to calm me as I start panicking.
I quickly get off the bed, and my back hits the wall.
"You were sleeping and—”
"I'm sorry," I interrupt him. "I shouldn't have done that." The memory of a mattress underneath my body comes rushing back to me, and I panicked. I know I should have stayed still. Even with the time that I've had away fromthem, I’m still used to not being placed on a bed and touched in that way. At the moment my head is fighting with me. Fighting with the memories of the rules and fighting with leaving the rules behind me so I can live a life with Leo.
He steps away leaving a small space between us. Even though there is so much darkness surrounding him, a black cloud around him, his face is the only peaceful thing I know.
Leo wipes off the tears from my cheek. "Don’t be scared of me."
"I’m not; you’re the only one I don’t feel scared around." I place my hand on his chest just to feel his heartbeat on my palm. "You make me feel safe.”
"You will live again."
I take a step closer to Leo. How is it that one man can make me forget so much darkness that's happened to me? How is it that I can just be so much more free with him now? I've known him for two weeks, and in two weeks he's made me feel safe.
"Will you hold me?"
Leo wraps his arms around me, and it feels like a weight is being lifted from me. He holds me there for a moment and as I close my eyes, I picture my parents watching me. I always imagined they would be up there looking out for me and maybe Leo is the person they have sent.
Taking a step back I say, "I’m going to have a shower."
Leo smiles. "I hope it’s with warm water." I smile back and roll my eyes.
“Yes." I turn to walk towards the bathroom, as I get to the door I turn to face Leo.