Today is a win for me, and I'm going to be smiling when I go to bed.
CHAPTER13
HOPE
The red numberson the timepiece show 02:13 and I sit on the kitchen floor looking at one tile that has been annoying me since the first day I saw it. I look at the computer screen to see if there is any way I can take off the tile piece without ruining the whole floor.
Leo was different today; there was something that changed in me when I saw his scars and the way he held my hands at the dining table, making me feel safe with his mom.
I feel Leo walking over to me. Keeping my head down, I see him sit on the floor pulling the laptop closer to him. “You planning on tiling the floor?”
“No.” I point to the tile that I’m looking at, “Just that tile. It needs to be turned once around.”
I hear Leo laughing. "You know, I've had this kitchen for about five years now, and no one has ever mentioned that tile to me." He leans closer and takes a good look. "Looks like I'm getting some new kitchen tiles."
“White?” I ask.
"White," he replies. "I'll bring a book home and we can have a look together, or you can come with me?" He moves a little closer to me, and I look over at him; not his face and not so my face is lifted but I see his hands moving over his thigh.
I bring my hand closer to his, and I point to the scar on his left hand. "D-does that hurt?"
“It did, not anymore. Now it’s a reminder of what I survived,” he tells me. I suppose that’s a good way to look at your scars; shame I can’t do that. Shame I can remember every word that was told to me, every rule is drilled in my head, every scar I remember how it was given.
“You want to hear my story?”
Do I want to hear his story? I mean I can still see all the dark clouds around him; he has the type of darkness surrounding him that I ran away from.
"My mother was a drug addict whore. Just to get her next hit she would sleep with one man after another, but then one day this man came over and offered her a lot of money for me, and he didn't even have to finish his sentence before my mother said yes." Leo gets up and walks away, and after a small moment away he comes back, placing a coffee mug in front of me.
"So, I was taken, I was abused, I was punished. I was there for six years. In four years they broke me. Broke me to the point where I didn't think there was hope of getting out. I was there for four years before someone made me want to fight. It took two years after that to finally escape; to finally run away from the house of hell."
Leo stops, and I start spinning the coffee mug on the floor, as I think about Leo's past. "Who?" I ask.
“Who, what?”
“Made you fight?”
There’s silence for a moment and I think maybe I shouldn’t be asking him questions when I can’t even answer his.
"Jackson. They threw Jackson in my room and told me to tell him what would happen. I said no. So to protect him, if he did something wrong, I took the blame. If they wanted him, I took his place." He lets out a small cough. "I wasn't going to let them hurt him the way they did me. Yes, there were days that I let him down, and I'll never be able to forgive myself for that. I promised myself that if I found a way out, I'd take him with me. So, I did."
I gaze up at him. For the first time since I’ve been here my eyes lock with his.
“Now, those are the beautiful blue eyes that I’ve wanted to see again.” Leo gives me a wink. I move my head to look outside to the yard.
For the first time in a long time, I feel like I’m safe. But then why do I still feel like something is wrong?
I feel Leo sitting next to me, looking out to the yard with me. “Hope, can you look at me please?” I put my head down and look at my hands. “Please.” Leo moves in front of me.
Slowly lifting my head, I look at Leo's eyes, and for the first time I see the color of them; the brown-woody shade pulls me in to look deeper, to see if I can see his soul and to see if it's as black as I see now.
"I promise you that I won't let anyone come near you again and I'll hunt the man that did this to you, and I'll make sure that he dies in a lot of pain. But you don't need to fear me." His hand moves to my cheek and softly moves my hair away from my face. "I won't hurt you." His palm rests on my cheek, and his face moves closer to mine. "You walk around this house with your head held high. You have a warm shower. You sleep on the bed. And I have a maid to clean, so you don't have to."
“I like cleaning and cooking,” I whisper. It’s the truth. I enjoy it, it lets me come out of my dark cloud for a moment, it might be for a short while, but I get out of it.
“Then you keep doing it, for two reasons. One, Jackson loves your food and two, it’s because youwantto do it. I’m notmakingyou, okay?”
Nodding my head, I pick up both mugs and take them to the sink. I know that Leo is standing behind me.