“No, I—” I try to explain, but she has no intentions of letting me talk—not that I have any idea what I would have said. I can't tell her the truth. Easton's former drug problem is something we handled privately, and he does not want his baby sister knowing about it.
“You know,” she says with more attitude than I've ever heard in all the time I've known her, “I always thought you were a lot of things, but I never thought a coward was one of them.”
With that, she finally walks away and leaves me standing there to watch her go, knowing I deserve every insult she throws at me, no matter how much they feel like knives.
"Ugh!" I groan, throwing myself on my bed. "He's just so...ugh!"
Kennedy chuckles from across the room. "Sorry, babe. I don't speak caveman."
Being rejected was one thing. I had finally gotten what I've wanted for years, and it was more than I could’ve ever imagined, only for it to be ripped away the next morning. And that sucked. But to have to feel that all over again today when he showed up at my dorm? I mean, how much can he really torture me?
I was doing okay. It sucked, yeah, but I distracted myself with Netflix, and school, and listening to Kennedy go on and on about how she met the love of her life in the courtyard but he has no idea who she is. I still felt the pain of knowing it would never happen, but I was okay. Hell, it was silly of me to ever think I had a chance anyway. And then he came here, and looked at me with those eyes that remind you of clear skies on a gorgeous summer's day, and I instantly remembered all the things I liked about him—only to be reminded that I can't have him.
He doesn't want me. I know it. He can play the brother card all he wants, but it's a cop-out. Zayn Bronsyn isn't afraid of anything. Never has been. For me to believe that we can't be together because of Easton would be allowing myself to be fooled, and I didn't get into an award-winning boarding school by being an idiot.
"I hate this."
My roommate smiles sympathetically. "I don't know what it is with you and the dangerous bad boy type, but I could find one anywhere. Go outside and throw a rock. I bet you'll hit one."
Letting out a heavy sigh, I sit up and curl into a ball. "It's not just his looks though. He's hard to explain. It's like he acts all tough and badass, but he's soft."
She snorts. "Don't let him hear you say that."
My thoughts get lost in everything Zayn, which is probably the worst thing for me right now, but I can't help it. While everyone thinks of him as this dangerous, intimidating semi-delinquent, I know that's not really who he is. When we were younger, he used to be the only one of Easton's friends who told him to stop picking on me. The only one who waited for me when everyone ran ahead. Or my personal favorite, the only one who would hold me when I was scared.
Thunder booms loudly outside, shaking the whole house. I sink further into the blanket and try to mask my fear, but Easton already knows. He looks over at me while playing video games with his friends and snickers.
“Look at Mila,” he points out to both Zayn and Knox. “Do you really think that blanket is going to protect you from the storm? Lightning would set it on fire.”
“Leave me alone, jerk.”
That only makes him laugh more. The three of them are taking turns playing some stupid video game. Usually when there’s a storm, Mommy lets me cuddle in her bed and distracts me by reading poetry, but tonight, our parents aren’t home. They’re next-door at the Patterson’s for cocktails, and told Easton to watch me.
I tried telling them I didn’t need a babysitter. I mean, I’m nine years old. I’m almost a teenager. And besides, what is my ten-year-old brother going to do that I can’t? Well, other than be brave about a thunderstorm.
Knox glances at me like I’m some kind of freak. “What nine-year-old is still afraid of thunder?”
Easton chuckles and shakes his head. “She’s always been a big scaredy-cat.”
Zayn sighs, handing the controller over to Knox and getting up to come sit next to me. My eyes widen as he smiles at me, and somehow, it makes everything just a little better.
“I used to be afraid too, you know,” he says. “One time, I watched lightning hit a tree in my backyard, and the whole thing split in half.?
?
A small giggle bubbles out. “Is that supposed to make me feel better?”
His grin widens. “No, but it made you laugh.”
I start to feel myself relax, until a bolt of lightning hits so close that it lights up the whole inside of the house. Even the boys jump, but I curl up into a ball. Zayn exhales with a kind smile and opens his arms. If I wasn’t so scared, I’d probably say no thank you, but with my parents not home, he’s the only one willing to comfort me.
Knox looks over just as Zayn wraps his arms around me. “Aw, are you holding the little baby?”
I don’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends, so I go to move away when he tightens his grasp. He narrows his eyes on Knox.
“She’s the little baby?” he asks teasingly. “You’re the one who screamed like a girl and almost peed himself when he saw a spider crawling up his pants.”
Easton nudges him. “Oh, burn!”