You know they’re my favorite. My brother had said. It’s as if they hold being a virgin over our heads. Like being a virgin is something they can take at any time. I’m not holding it for someone special. I just haven’t had the chance to be with anyone.
I tried once, but Nite shot me down. He was always there and watching over me. He was the only guy I was around who wasn’t actually blood. Even if my mom and dad had adopted him. But too much had happened. I’m the reason he no longer speaks. So any chance I had there is gone. But Dillan? He’s something new. Something I can use to my advantage. Others have taken advantage of me, so why can’t I get something for myself now?
Making up my mind, I place the showerhead back in place and start soaping up my body, knowing exactly what I’m going to do.
I’m twenty motherfucking years old. Not a little girl. It’s time I act like it.
I walk through his closet. I reach out, running my fingers along his button-ups. Picking out a white one, I pull it off the hanger and slide it on. The sleeves are too long, and the hem almost reaches my knees, but the material is soft and cool against my skin.
I don’t drink, but I wish I had something to take a sip of right now. Just to calm my nerves. I hate how nervous I am. Men like Dillan sleep with experienced women. I make my way upstairs, running my hands along the banister. Making it to the top of the landing, the softness of the carpet almost tickles my feet.
I look to my right and see his office door cracked. Taking a deep breath, I push it open and step in.
He’s sitting at his desk, his phone in his hands, and he’s typing away on it. I have a moment of panic. What if he doesn’t want me? This is stupid. Why would he want me? I have nothing to offer him. But isn’t that what we’re taught from a young age—to use our bodies?
He looks up, his eyes meet mine, and he stops typing.
Refusing to back down, I force my legs to take me over to him. Dillan isn’t the kind of man who wants a timid woman. No. Many women would give anything to be where I am right now, and I refuse to be a girl anymore.
If I decide to fuck you, you’ll choose to remove your clothes for me. That was what he had said to me in the limo that night. I had no idea how right he was, and I refuse to take no for an answer.
His eyes drop to my bare feet and slowly run up over my legs as I come to stand by his desk. His neck tattoo moves as he swallows, but other than that, he’s completely still.
I can’t explain it, but the way he looks at me gives me the courage I need.
Stepping between his desk and chair, I lean my ass back against the surface, facing him. He leans back in his chair, his eyes meeting mine, and I swallow down the knot in my throat.
His phone falls to the floor. “Mia—”
“I want you,” I say, interrupting him before he can turn me down. I’m going to become a woman today. Even if I have to beg him, I will get what I want. My father taught my brothers to take what they wanted. It’s time I live up to the Bianchi name.
“We shouldn’t,” he protests, but the way his blue eyes darken when they drop to my exposed legs tells me he’s fighting a battle I’m about to win.
Reaching out, I grab his hands from his lap and place them on my bare thighs underneath his shirt.
He doesn’t pull away. Instead, his fingers dig into the sensitive skin, making me shiver. “Are you saying you don’t want me?” I hold my breath, waiting for him to answer. He could deny me, and it would make our bad situation worse. Because I’d have to run away due to embarrassment.
He slowly stands, his hands making their way up to my waist, pulling the shirt up in the process. He towers over me. “It’ll hurt.”
“First time for everything,” I say. Everyone has to have sex for the first time. I want mine to be with him.
His eyes search mine, and doubt fills my mind once again. He doesn’t want me. I’m an inconvenience. A temporary problem that he’s trying to get rid of.
When he removes his hands from underneath my shirt, I feel tears start to sting my eyes, but he reaches up and rips it open. I gasp as the buttons go flying across the room, exposing my body to him.