I shrugged, opening the door. “Thanks for the lift. You’re not so scary, either.”
He humphed, shaking his head. Closing the door, I walked a few steps when the window rolled down, and he called out to me.
“Hey!”
“Yeah?” I asked, turning.
“We’re hiring, at Wild Horse, if you have any dance skills, you should apply. I won’t say I know you, though. You’re on your own.”
“Thanks, I think.”
He rolled his eyes, rolling up the window, but I caught a slight glimpse of a smile. Walking into the building, I deemed the night a moderate success. I’d had sex. It hadn’t been great, but I hadn’t ended up crying in the corner either. And I might be able to get a dream job. All in all, a red banner day.
Diary #12
Dear Mom,
Another year has passed, and I sometimes don’t recognize my life before Nashville. It feels like a dream at times. I know I haven’t even written as much either. I guess in some ways, that’s good. I don’t need to heal as much anymore. I miss sharing things with you, though.
So, how about an update?
I love my job at the Wild Horse Saloon. It took me six months to earn a spot as a dance instructor, but I never gave up, taking more classes so I could learn the steps to all of them. Damon still avoids me, but he’ll talk to me every now and then. I think it helps that I wasn’t hung up on Stefan like he expected. Though getting promoted has hampered things, and he’s gone back to hating me, I think.
My sexual experiences have been better since Stefan. No one has been Maddox, but I’m guessing that’s because we loved one another. I try not to think about him, but I know something terrible happened. I just hope that one day he’ll be able to tell me about it. I refuse to think he’s gone.
Candi is as crazy as ever, and she’s been a real friend. Even when there was an incident over a guy with some of her other friends, she stood by me. I didn’t know he had a girlfriend, but you’d think I waltzed in there and demanded he perform mediocre oral on me. Based on his limp dick, I’m guessing Valerie owns his balls as it was. It taught me to pick guys who were clearly single and not hanging around our group.
Candi asked if I had ever thought about getting a boyfriend. She’s currently shacked up with someone and is all lovesick. I’ll admit, I’m still a hopeless romantic and daydream of someone making a romantic gesture one day. But I’m not there yet. Or maybe just the right person hasn’t come along. Hookups are just easier. No emotions involved.
Besides, my heart is already wrapped up in a few people. Yeah, a few.
I should feel bad, but I don’t. For one, none of them are attainable. So, if they’re all just in my heart, what’s the harm?
Maddox is a permanent fixture. I’ll never stop loving him.
Cowboy has become my best friend, and if we ever met, I’d probably run off to Gatlinburg and get married in a drive-up wedding chapel. He’s pure and wholesome, despite most of our conversations being naked.
Chase is a mystery, but he’s still in my life. The schoolgirl crush I had on him still activates when he texts. I know we can’t be together, and I don’t even know if I do like him since it’s been over two years since I’ve even seen him, but I think about the what-ifs sometimes. He’s been a good friend to me, helping me when I needed it. It’s too complicated, though, for me to settle down with anyone else.
At least, that’s my reasoning. I guess, in a way, Damon fits that too. Maybe I just like guys who didn’t or couldn’t be with me so I wouldn’t get hurt.
Wow, that was dark.
Moving on. I’ve decided to get a tattoo. My appointment is tonight, and I’m excited about it. I guess that’s all.
Love,
Darcie
Thirteen
DARCIE
Iwalked into the tattoo parlor and immediately loved it. The atmosphere had a fun and hip vibe, making me trust their work. I was already in love with all the designs I’d seen on LiveIt.
A guy sat at the front counter reading, so I walked up to him with confidence, smiling big as I braced my arms against the counter. “Hi, I’m here for an appointment.”
“Name?” he asked in a bored tone, not looking up.