I know it was wrong, and I regret it, but at the time, it felt right. But it had been a trap. She used me to get insider information of her own, taking a large portion of our club finances. Two strikes against me now, along with being on the verge of bankruptcy, I was desperate to change it all around.
Enter Agonizer and his deal. We combine our families—a union of our clubs. It would give us both more coverage, stabilize my finances, and guarantee the continuation of everything I’d built the Mavericks to be.
But when he said you had to marry his son and that he’d warm you up, I realized how far I’d fallen.
I’m so sorry, Peanut. I can never apologize enough for the mistakes I made. I got cocky and greedy, but none of that is your fault.
I decided I couldn’t go through with the deal, and I told Stanley this. He was infuriated and threatened to take you anyway and put you in his program. I knew then he’d never tell me anything, that he was only using you as leverage.
That’s why I’m writing this letter. I know I need to send you away. It’s the only way I can save you, but it means I’ll never see you again. You can’t return to Mississippi ever again, Darcie. If you do, then I worry he’ll swoop in and take you. I couldn’t live with myself knowing it was my fault. At least this way, you’ll have a chance at life, even if I never get to be part of it again.
I’m going to send Maddox with you. Not only is he a good man, but I know he cares about you and will keep you safe. When he was a teenager, he told me that he planned to woo you one day. I hope he still does. You both deserve happiness.
I’ve made many mistakes, but being your father was never one of them. Losing your mother changed me, and I miss her every day. I pray she wouldn’t hate the screwups I’ve made, but I worry she wouldn’t even know me. I hope this allows me to get back to the man that your mother loved. I want to be that version of myself again.
You are my light, Peanut, and I know wherever you go, whatever you do, it will be spectacular.
Trust no one else with your story. From this point forward, Darcie Callaway is a ghost. I’ve included some money, the name of my contact in the FBI if you ever find yourself in trouble, and the key to the safe deposit box that has all the information I’ve collected over the years on Driscoll. If anything ever happened to me, you have options. It’s located at Music City Row Bank in Nashville, TN. Somewhere far away from here, where no one knows who the Mavericks or Hank the Tank is. It’s a nice place. I think you’d like it there.
Love,
Your father
P.S. You’re going to miss your road naming ceremony, so I think it’s only fair to tell you what the club voted on. You were to be crowned Rosebud. Just thought you should know.
I blinked at the pages, so many secrets coming to light, and I didn’t know how to process any of them. I laid the letter down, picking up a polaroid picture of my father, mother, and me. I was probably about five in the photo, squished between the two of them. God, how I missed my mother. She’d know what to do; she’d know how to help me.
I didn’t know anything anymore. I didn’t know if I even knew my father. If I’d known him at all.
Looking over at Maddox, I caught him watching me closely. “Did you know?”
He shook his head. “No. I knew your father had been up to something, but not what it was. We had a meeting to discuss my future next week, but I guess I won’t be keeping that now.” He stared off, thinking over the information. At some point, he’d pulled me into his lap, my shaking too much for him, and he held me to him as I read. I hadn’t cared that he read over my shoulder. It was easier than having to repeat it.
“Where are we now?” I asked, needing to focus on something else.
“Outside of Memphis. Where do you want to go?”
“You know, you don’t have to stay with me. You’ve fulfilled your agreement to get me out of there. You can go on and live your life.” I said the words, but I didn’t mean them. But something in me needed to feel the hurt, to crack open my heart and watch it bleed out. Maddox leaving me would do that. He was all that stood in my way to surviving at the moment. I didn’t know if I should thank him or curse him for it.
My brain was messed up.
He tilted my chin, peering down into my eyes. “Princess, where you go, I go. You’re mine. Don’t you get it?”
I tensed, the words echoing around my skull. “No, I can’t be. I’m too damaged.” I shook my head, wanting them to leave me. I couldn’t un-hear Agonizer saying it.
“Darcie, it’s okay. I’ll wait.” Once again, he held his tongue, but this time, I was thankful. I think I knew what he wanted to say, and it would shatter me into a million pieces.
I wasn’t lovable, and the sooner he realized that, the better.
But for now, I would cling to him, using his heart to remind myself mine still beat.
Diary #4
Dear Mom,
Did you know? I feel like you would. I’m not sure what to think. Why wasn’t I told sooner? It makes things seem different, but also like nothing in my life is real.
I don’t know where to go from here. Who am I? What do I do now? My life was mapped out in front of me—join the family business.