She looked at me, squeezing my hand. “I’m okay with it if you know that I’m in no way shape or form ever going to try and ‘steal your man’ or anything. It was hot jut coming
along for the ride tonight.”
“So, we’re good?”
She grinned and stuck her tongue out at me, making me giggle. “Yeah, we’re great.”
“I love you you know.” I instantly felt like such a sap saying it, but I could see her eyes twinkle as her smiled widened.
“I love you too, you know.” She started to stand and rummage for her clothes on the chair behind her. “I’m going to leave you guys to spend your last night alone; no, stop pouting.” I grinned at her. “You know you want him to yourself tonight, Chris, and I’m totally okay getting out of your hair.”
She was buttoning her shirt back up and she glanced towards the bathroom and the sound of running water before looking at me with a more serious look in her eyes. “You- you should tell him, you know. No matter what happens with, well, everything that goes along with you two, you’re still pregnant.”
I flopped back on the bed, acutely aware that I didn’t care in the slightest that I was totally naked in front of my friend. “I know, I know. I just- I just need to find the right time.”
“I know you will.” She leaned over and kissed me on the cheek and gave me a squeeze. “Call me tomorrow.”
The bathroom door opened and Tyler walked out, a bit more modestly attired in a towel around his waist.
“Byyyee Mr. Weaver” Anna blew an exaggerated kiss at him, making him turn red, before she looked back at me with a wink in her eye and her tongue sticking out at me.
“Goodnight, Anna,” Tyler said, his face still red as he rolled his eyes towards me.
I just need to find the right time.
I fell asleep that night in his arms, wondering when on earth that was going to be.
*****
I did my best not to mope on the way to the train station the next day, or even when we were walking towards the platform checkpoint where I’d have to leave him.
“Look, Tyler, I need to tell-”
Holding my hand, he turned and looked at me, his eyes full of concern. “What is it, honey?”
“I-” I could already feel my resolve to tell him crumbling, just looking into his eyes. Telling him would change everything, I knew that. Telling him meant that this - whatever this was - was suddenly a lot more real than I knew he could attach himself to right now. What we had right there, in that moment in time, wasn’t everything I wanted, but it was enough; at least for right now. Adding “oh, I’m pregnant” to that delicate balance would upset the whole thing, and I wasn’t ready to let go yet.
“It’s- it’s nothing.” I smiled at him, biting my lip.
“You sure?” He turned and wrapped his arm around my waist, pulling me close.
“Yeah, just- thank you, for another absolutely amazing weekend.”
He grinned and leaned down to kiss my cheek. “You bet.” He pulled back and looked at me again, his brow raising. “You sure you’re okay?”
No! There’s so much I want to tell you!
“Yeah, I’m great.” I pushed my hair out of my eye, forcing myself not to get all teary-eyed. “So, I guess I’ll talk to you somet-“
“I love you.”
I froze and suddenly found myself staring into his eyes with my jaw hanging open. “What?”
His was looking deeply into my eyes as he took a deep breath. “Look, Christina, I know this isn’t perfect, or fair to you, and I’m sorry. I-” He looked around the half-empty ticketing hall and let the air out slowly before turning back and leaning in close to me; the familiar wonderful smell of him invading my sense, his arms tight around me, and my pulse racing as I tried to process what he’d just said.
“I don’t know what’s happening here, or whats going to happen, or what the hell to do about any of this, honey. But-” He brought his hands to my face and held my chin in his hands. “But, all I do know, is that you’re everything I think about, always, and that you’re everything I’ve always wanted in this world.”
I felt the world begin to tumble around me as my head spun, and my heart felt like it’d leap right out of my throat.