I collapse into the chair in front of her desk. “It’s easy for you to laugh about it. You don’t have to go to the hotel this afternoon.”
Suzie reaches across her desk and pats my hand. “Poor you. You have to watch people have a threesome. Oh, boo hoo.”
I snarl at her before standing and returning to my office. I need to text John Smith and make sure he’s all set up to get caught with his ‘lover’ this afternoon.
At a quarter to two, I’m at the Grand Hotel. I walk to the reception desk where I know Mr. Smith has left an extra room key for me. The receptionist sees me coming and starts giggling.
“I love Smith days!” Peggy, the receptionist, announces as she hands me the key to room 550.
“Doesn’t the drama bother your other customers?”
She waves my concern away with a flick of her hand. “Please. It’s 2 p.m. Our guests are either attending boring business meetings, doing tourist junk, or they’re enjoying a bit of chitty chitty bang bang themselves. Besides, Mr. Smith always pays extra for a corner room.” She winks and I know the ‘extra’ is going straight into her pocket.
I grab the key card. “Mrs. Smith will be arriving at five after.”
“I know the drill.”
I walk to the bar and have a seat at the counter to wait. According to Mr. Smith, I’m more than welcome to watch the opening act, but watching is not my thing. Not at all. I’ll wait until two on the dot before I make my way to the room. Andy, the bartender, sets a shot of tequila in front of me.
“Happy Smith day,” he says and nods to the drink.
I smile in thanks before grabbing the glass and taking the shot.
“I think it’s kind of romantic. They’ve been married for decades. Yet, they find a way to keep the excitement in their sex life.”
I snort. Only a man would think this set-up is romantic. I knock on the counter. “Thanks for the drink.”
I prepare my camera as I ride the elevator. When the elevator opens on the fifth floor, I sigh in relief to see the hallway’s empty. Mrs. Smith has been known to arrive early. She gets cranky when I’m not here ahead of her.
As I walk to the end of the hallway, the noises become louder. Oh, goodie. They left the door open for me today. Sometimes, Mr. Smith likes me to bang on the door. Other times, he wants me to sneak in and take pictures. Guess I’ll be sneaking in today.
The opening act is getting started when I walk in, making sure to leave the door wide open for Mrs. Smith. There’s a bottle of champagne and two glasses on a side table, but they haven’t been touched. The champagne is for when the main event gets started. On the bed, Mr. Smith and some random blonde are rolling around. She’s still wearing her bra and panties. I glance around and notice her clothes are folded neatly on the chair closest to the door. Someone’s prepared for a quick exit.
I’ve finished taking a few pictures when I hear a loud gasp. “John! How could you do this to me?”
I swivel and snap a picture of Mrs. Smith with her hand over her heart. Her chest is rising and falling at a rapid pace, and her eyes are dilated. I’m surprised she’s not licking her lips.
John jumps out of the bed. “It doesn’t mean anything, Judy. She’s just some random chick I picked up.”
The random chick in question grunts. “You mean this didn’t mean anything to you? You said you loved me.” Her voice is flat like she’s reading from a script, probably because she is reading from a script. But come on, she could have put a little verve in her voice. It looked like she was enjoying the rolling around on the bed well enough.
John ignores his hook-up and approaches Judy. “I’m sorry, baby. You’re the one I want.” He doesn’t sound like he’s reading from a script.
“But.” Judy sniffles. “Why…” She gestures toward the bed.
He pulls her into his arms. “It’s you I want. Only you.” He smashes her lips to hers and it’s on like bangy kong.
As the ‘mistress’ passes me, I gesture to the envelope next to her clothes. She nods with a roll of her eyes. I hear her quickly dress and retreat.
Time for the main attraction. I snap away as John and Judy fall to the bed and tear each other’s clothes off. I continue to take pictures as they enjoy each other. Andy the bartender was right. It is kind of romantic.
I’m not watching the entire show, though. No way. I’ve learned from my mistakes. Once John’s manhood is visible, I’m out of here. Those are my rules and I’m sticking to them. John can offer me as much money as he wants – and he has offered me a ton of money – I’m not changing my mind. And I’m certainly not joining them. Not my thing. And, lucky for me, today is not a threesome day.
When Judy reaches for John’s tighty whities, I’m out of here. I grab the envelope full of cash Judy left for me and shut the door on my way out. I know they wouldn’t mind if I left the door open. Hello! Exhibitionists. But I worry about their safety. Exhibitionism is fine. Not my thing, but fine for them. But anyone could stroll off the street and walk straight into their room.
“Leaving so soon?” Peggy asks when I return the room key to her.
She giggles when I don’t respond. She knows John has pressured me to join them on multiple occasions in the past. She thinks it’s hilarious.
“You want to join them? I can arrange it.”
Her nose wrinkles. “Ew. Gross. Old man sex.”
“But good enough for me?” She’s the middle-aged woman in this scenario, not me.
The phone rings. “Get out of here. I have work to do.”
Likely excuse. I throw her a wave and walk out of the hotel.