Promising herself she’d do something outdoors the next day, Julia turned onto her street. When she reached her block, her hands tightened on the steering wheel when she spotted a dark SUV parked in front of her house.
She took a deep breath and loosened her fingers. There was no reason to worry. Dawson was in prison. Wasn’t getting out for a long, long time. And Carole had apologized. Promised to pay back the money. She’d even seemed sincere.
This car must belong to a neighbor’s visitor. Maybe someone’d had a party and the car’s owner was the last straggler.
Julia slowed as she neared her driveway, then turned in. Pressed the garage door transponder and waited for the door to heave itself up.
As she exited the car, she fumbled for her canister of pepper spray. She’d gotten it after Nico left, and didn’t approach her house or her parked car without having it in her hand. Did she think she’d need it? No. But it was a security blanket after so many evenings of coming home, jumpy and on edge, waiting for Nico to search her house.
As she approached the porch, a dark form rose from the steps. Julia bit back a scream and lifted a shaking hand. Aimed the pepper spray at the indistinct figure walking down the stairs.
Her finger hovered over the button on the canister as she backed away. “Julia,” said a familiar voice. “It’s me.” Nico stepped into the light from the garage fixture.
The pepper spray clattered on the driveway cement. “Nico?” she said, unwilling to believe her eyes.
“Yeah.” He stopped a few feet away from her and studied her for a long moment. “What’s wrong?”
She raced toward him and threw herself into his arms. Buried her face in his neck, inhaling his scent. “Nothing’s wrong now,” she murmured against his skin. “Now that you’re back, everything’s perfect.” She lifted her head and pressed her mouth to his.
He kissed her carefully, as if he were afraid she’d break. She pressed closer, and he eased away from her.
She stood alone on her driveway, staring at the man she’d ached over for a whole damn month. The guy who’d stepped away when she tried to kiss him.
Cold tendrils of hurt twisted around her. Tightened until they threatened to crush her.
“What’s wrong?” she asked, searching his face. She couldn’t read his expression in the darkness.
He drew in a breath. Scrubbed his hands over his eyes. “I’m not back back,” he muttered. “I’m on my way to a job in the area.”
It felt as if he’d shoved a dagger into her heart. The pain was so intense, she almost doubled over. But she refused to let him see her agony. Forcing herself to stand tall, she said, “I see.” A hard ball of tears swelled in her throat, but she ruthlessly banished it. Let anger wash over her instead.
Through clenched teeth, she managed to say, “If you’re supposed to be protecting someone, why are you here?”
“Another operative is with him right now. I start in the morning.”
“So this is a booty call.” She struggled to keep her voice steady. Managed to hold back the rage roaring inside her. No way in hell would she let him into her bed for a night of fun and games, only to watch him disappear again the next morning.
She’d struggled too hard to get over him.
He sucked in a breath. “Abooty call? I love you. And I thought you loved me.” Had he ever said it?
“You love me?” She wrapped her arms around her waist, trying to hold herself together. “Really? You’ve been gone a month, Nico. A month with no call. No card. Not even a damn email. And now you appear on my back porch, out of the blue. On your way to a job. And you say you love me?”
Nico drew a deep breath. One knee jittered. “I… I didn’t know what to say. I left you. Walked away and vanished from your life. I had no idea if you even wanted me to call.”
“I fucking told you I loved you,” she said, trying to keep her voice down. She didn’t want her neighbors overhearing this… this conversation. “Of course I wanted you to call. Wanted to hear from you.”
“You could have called me, too,” he said.
“I tried,” she said. “Several times. But it went directly to voice mail. I figured you’d blocked me. So I stopped trying.” She squeezed her arms more tightly around her waist. So tightly she could barely draw a breath.
He stared at her in the dim light from the back door. Sighed. “I screwed up, didn’t I?”
“I wanted to know you hadn’t forgotten about me the minute you walked out of that hotel room,” she whispered. “That what we had meant something to you.” Because you’re my world. I haven’t been able to get over you.
He took a step closer to her. “Meant something? It meant everything. I’ve thought about you every minute of every day that I’ve been gone, Jules. But the day I got back to Blackhawk Security, I shipped out. To another continent. A dangerous country. I went radio silent. Couldn’t take the chance of having my phone calls monitored.”
He swallowed, and Julia watched the muscles ripple in his throat.