Heidi folded her hands together. Lila brushed her fingers down Heidi’s arm to try and calm her down. She wasn’t sure it was going to work, but she also wanted to give Heidi the space to come up with the words herself for what she was feeling. Heidi swallowed hard before her lips trembled. Lila knew she was about to speak.
“She asks me what feels good a lot, if something is nice, if what she’s doing is right.”
Lila narrowed her eyes. “And…?”
“What do you mean and?”
“I’m confused.” Lila pressed her lips together hard, trying to decide how to ask the question. “What is wrong with her asking those things?”
“I don’t have answers, and she gets frustrated when I’m quiet.”
“Oh, I see.” And she did. It meant the idea she had fluttering around her brain really might be just the perfect idea. “I want you and Ann to have sex tonight, but I think it might be best if I’m there to help out.”
Heidi twisted to face her sharply. “You said you didn’t do threesomes.”
“I don’t. I never have before, and I’m not sure I want to now, but that doesn’t mean this has to be that. I can just be there to help out.”
“What do you get out of it?”
“Actual communication between the two of you for once.” Lila widened her eyes before chuckling. “And I like to watch, remember?”
Heidi hummed. “I’m not sure that’s the best idea. I don’t want you to be left out.”
How Heidi managed to do that, Lila had no idea, but she’d just called out exactly what Lila was attempting to do. She wanted distance between them, because she wasn’t so sure at the end of their excursion toIndigothat there was going to be any room for her. That had been what she’d meant when she asked Heidi how everything was going to work the day before, and she still hadn’t found an answer to that question.
“I think it will be good for the two of you.”
“I have no doubt of that, Lila, but I’m concerned.”
“About what?” Lila could barely look her in the eye.
Heidi’s lips parted, her eyes wavering as she stared directly at Lila. “You.”
“Don’t be. I’m fine.”
“I don’t think you are, but if you want to use that facade, I’ll let you for now. Just know that I’m watching, and I really don’t think you’re okay.”
Lila’s heart thumped hard. Yeah, she was definitely in love, and so were they, but she still couldn’t see how everything was going to work out for the better. No good could come of a relationship like that. She’d seen it fail so many times. “Are you going to do it or not?”
“I’ll do it, but I want you to be honest from here on out. That’s the only way I’ll agree to this. You need to be as honest with us as you need to be with yourself. This is not a time to hide, and you know that. You agreed to that.”
Sighing, Lila closed her eyes. She’d agreed to it for their sake, not hers, and this was encroaching too much on her sensibilities.
“Lila, you agreed.”
“I did,” she muttered.
“Good. Tonight?” Heidi asked.
“Yes. After dinner. In your room. You have the bigger bed, but I also figure you’ll be more comfortable there than here.”
Heidi rolled her eyes. “I doubt I’ll be comfortable anywhere since I’m not at home or your place.”
“Really?” Lila asked.
“Really, really.”
* * *