Barefoot, she padded her way into the kitchen and smiled at the pot of coffee already going. Eli had said she woke up early for the ranching side of life, so she’d leave the coffee on for any other early risers. Grabbing the kettle and starting water, Heidi leaned against the counter as she stared out the windows into the just now rising sun.
Colors painted across the sky this way and that as the stars faded and oranges, pinks, and yellows took over. She was so lost in her thoughts that she barely heard the back door open and the shuffle of boots against the mat on the floor.
“Morning,” Eli muttered as she moved around Heidi to refill her thermos. “I’ll take the rest of this and then make some more.”
“I think the others will quite appreciate that. I’m making some tea for myself.”
Eli pulled out the makings for a fruit salad and after washing her hands thoroughly began the food prep.
Heidi didn’t even miss a beat as she jumped in to help, peeling and slicing as she went. They worked in silence for some time before Eli spoke up.
“Forgive my curiosity, but what is going on?”
“With what?” Heidi questioned, focusing on the grapes she was halving.
“Who is with who?”
“Oh…all of us technically are together, although that wasn’t planned. Ann and I have been together nearly sixteen years. She started dating Lila last year, so it’s been almost a year, and I started dating Lila just this past month.”
“So this is an open relationship?”
“Yes.” Heidi still didn’t dare look Eli in the eye. She knew she didn’t have to explain if she didn’t want to, but it felt nice to say it, finally, to someone she had a feeling wouldn’t completely shun her for it.
Eli dropped all the fruit into a bowl and mixed it. “I don’t see that often up here.”
“I think most people don’t see it often in general. We never intended to both date Lila. That happened rather unexpectedly.”
“So you just decided to take a trip here together?”
“No.” Heidi shook her head. “No, Ann and I struggle sometimes, and we’re hoping Lila might be able to bridge that gap, especially considering her unique position.”
“That actually makes a lot of sense. But be careful. As much as she seems like an observer, Lila isn’t a therapist.”
Heidi canted her head to the side. Eli was right, and it was something they were going to have to make sure to remember, but they also wouldn’t find a poly-friendly therapist in their part of the country. It was hard enough to find one comfortable with them being lesbians. Lila was not an objective observer, and she was not someone outside of the relationship trio. They were going to have to care for her as much as she cared for them.
As soon as Lila and Ann came downstairs they ate breakfast, the chitchat shallow as they all tried to navigate how to have conversations with the three of them together. After helping Eli clean up, the three of them settled in the den and awkwardly looked from one to the other. Heidi carefully watched Lila, who fidgeted with her mug as she stared into the flames, shifting in her chair more often than Heidi had ever seen. She knew better, and she knew Lila was nervous and uncomfortable.
Catching Ann’s gaze, Heidi nodded her head toward Lila and tried to express what Lila was feeling, but Ann was clueless to what was going on. She shook her head back at Heidi and rolled her shoulders. Heidi inwardly groaned. Someone was going to have to break the ice, and as much as she didn’t want it to be her, she knew it was going to have to be.
“We came here to be productive, so I suggest we all start talking.”
Ann whipped her head around. Lila started at her with wide eyes.
Heidi shrugged. “I know that was blunt, more so than I normally am, but watching the two of you pretend there is nothing going on here is painful.”
“Painful?” Ann immediately lit onto that word.
“What she means is why would spending time with her be painful?” Lila interjected.
Heidi’s heart thrummed steadily as she glanced from Lila to Ann, seeing the hurt that washed through her in an instant, then the shame that Lila had called her out on it. Heidi shook her head slowly as she leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees to correct herself. “I didn’t mean spending time with you is painful. I meant you two look like you’re in pain.”
“Oh.” Within a flash, Ann’s entire demeanor changed and went back to what it had been before.
Heidi pressed her lips together sharply, glancing again at Lila. She never would have figured Ann had thought that, not in a million years. Lila had so easily read her, it was uncanny. Heidi pressed forward, curious as to what else she could glean from this conversation. “Why would you think I was trying to hurt you?”
Ann lifted a shoulder and shrugged, not looking like she was going to say anything. Lila rolled her eyes, but Heidi shot her a look to tell her to keep quiet. This was something Heidi wanted to do on her own, something she hoped they would learn to get better at.
“Tell me why, Ann. I want to know.”