“Did you pay the bill?”
“I told them we’d be right back and to hold the orders for now.”
“Inside.” Lila said nothing else as she stalked back toward the door and into the warmth of the bar. When they were settled, she downed the rest of her drink and nodded to the waiter, who looked incredibly confused. As he set their food down, Lila asked for another.
Heidi stared at her curiously, in a quiet unnerving way. Lila knew the feeling must be mutual. With a steadying breath and a few more seconds, Lila started the only way she knew how.
“I met Ann about eighteen months ago at the hospital.”
Heidi’s lips thinned in distress.
“I believe that is about the time you two had a discussion, formally, about being in an open relationship together.”
“Yes,” Heidi confirmed.
“Ann and I started dating a little under a year ago.”
“No.” Heidi’s dark eyes widened.
“Yes,” Lila responded. “I didn’t know you were her partner. I swear to you. I would never…well, I might have, but not without a whole lot more conversation. Ann never says your name. She never gives me details about you or who you are. She always told me you were a very private person and wanted to keep that to you two, which I’m completely comfortable with, except—”
“Except you ended up in the middle of it.” Heidi rubbed her temple in circles. “I should have known.”
“All of us should have known. Ann asked me toIndigoon Sunday.”
“She said she had and that you were going to think about it.”
“Yes, and I think now it would be a really bad idea for us to go.”
Heidi shook her head emphatically. “I disagree. I think now more than ever it will make all the difference.”
“What? What do you mean?” Lila’s brow furrowed. This was a complete disaster in the making. Going toIndigotogether would only make that worse.
“Look, I don’t know what Ann told you or how she invited you, but I think it would be better for us. I know there isn’t much in it for you, but I think you can really help us.”
Lila narrowed her gaze.
“I was opposed to the idea at first, too. I told her it was absolutely crazy.”
“It is crazy.”
“Right. But the more I thought about it, and now that I know you’re also her girlfriend, I think this really would be for the best.”
“Why?” It was the same question she’d asked Ann, and she’d gotten a truthful answer, but she was curious if Heidi would be just as honest and if the answers would line up.
Heidi sighed. “Something is between us, like blocking us from seeing each other. I don’t know how to talk to her or be with her, but I can do that with you and so can she. I want to know how. I want to be a better partner for her, and I think you can show us how.”
It clicked. They were right. Lila could do so much for them, but where that left her at the end of everything, she wasn’t sure. Would she lose not just one girlfriend, but the two she’d committed to? Breaking up with both of them so they could run off and be happy together wasn’t her idea of pleasant, especially if she was going to be confined to a B&B with them, no matter how nice the B&B was.
“I still don’t know,” Lila whispered. “I think this is going to turn out really badly for me in the long run.”
“I don’t think it will,” Heidi replied. “Look, I want to learn how to talk to Ann better, but I’m not going to do that at your expense. I realize this is new and that we don’t know each other very well, but I would hope you know me well enough by now to trust that I don’t want anyone to be hurting.”
“Sometimes hurt is unavoidable.”
“Sometimes it is.”
Lila knew Heidi understood that viscerally. No one who had gone through sexual trauma wouldn’t understand that. Heidi reached out and covered Lila’s hand.