Instead, I give him a quick nod and walk up the stairs, taking them two steps at a time. When I reach the landing, I head down the hall and into the bedroom. Grace is sitting on the bed, staring down at her hands that are resting in her lap. She looks to be lost in thought, and I don’t even want to know what she’s thinking.
“We’re going to visit Sophie,” I state, heading into the closet to grab a bag. As I’m grabbing random items from the hangers and shoving them in the bag, I glance over to Grace just in time to see her get up. Her head lifts, and our eyes meet. I want to erase all the sadness I see in those dark brown globes. Wipe every bad memory away and protect her from ever being hurt again but I can’t, no matter what I can’t erase the things I’ve done.
All I can do is try to be a better man going forward, and if I want to win back even a sliver of Grace’s heart I’ll have to work harder, because no way is she going to want to remain mine with the way things are going.
11
Grace
The plane ride to Vegas is quiet, and I sleep the majority of the time, so when Luke wakes me up as we are about to land, I look like death warmed over. My hair resembles a bird’s nest, my face is puffy and I’m sure my breath is rancid. I could use a shower and some toothpaste right about now.
“Can I at least brush my hair and my teeth before we go anywhere? I don’t want to look like a complete mess.” Luke smiles, his eyes twinkling.
“Everything is in the bathroom,” he tells me, nodding to the door at the end of the cabin. “And you never look like a mess. Always beautiful.”
If I wasn’t in such a bad mood, I might have actually appreciated the compliment but since I am, all I do is stomp to the bathroom like a hormonal teenager and close the door behind me. Once inside the space I fix my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my face, before putting on a good amount of deodorant. Then I look up into the mirror. There. Presentable again.
Opening the door, I walk back to my seat.
“Sit down, we are about to land,” he tells me and hands me some snacks he must have gotten from somewhere up front.
“Thanks,” I grab the peanuts and chocolate bar and take my seat again. I munch on both things during landing, and when the plane comes to a stop, I’m beyond ready to get out of this metal contraption.
“Do you need some more pain meds?” Luke asks on our way out, reminding me of the cramping taking place in my lower abdomen. He wraps an arm around me and pulls me tight to his side.
“Yeah, do you have some?” I’ve barely answered the question before he’s pulling out a small bottle of Motrin from his jacket and handing it to me. “You don’t happen to have a bottle of water too, do you?”
“Here,” he says, placing a tiny bottle of water in my hands. I look up at him, blinking a few times because I can’t seem to shake the image of him doing horrible things to people, and yet here he is, holding me tight, making sure I’m taken care of. We have yet to talk about the incident back at the house, and I’m not sure if there is any point.
“Thank you,” I whisper, though it’s the last thing I want to say. How can I make him understand that what he is doing is wrong? Doesn’t he see how wrong this is? I understand his need to protect me, and all those around him, but he’s not God, it’s not his job to dictate the good and bad in the world. I bite my tongue and decide to keep my thoughts to myself, at least for now. Luke guides me out of the plane and to a car that’s waiting for us.
I shouldn’t be surprised, but I kind of am. The Luke I knew and fell in love with didn’t have two pennies to rub together, but the man he is now, has enough money to do whatever and whoever he wants.
Once inside the car, the air around us starts to become thick. I know I should speak what’s on my mind but at this point, I don’t see or feel any reason. That doesn’t stop my big fat mouth from opening though.
“Aren’t I enough for you to stop?” The question catches him off guard, and I stare intently at his handsome face as he blinks slowly, before swallowing.
“You’re more than enough, Grace, but this has nothing to do with you, and it never will. My job doesn’t have to include you.”