“Just a little cramping. I’m okay,” she mutters quietly. “You scared me today, Rex. More than before. I think you need help, and I’m just coddling you. I’m going to move back home tomorrow. I think some space will be good for us.” I listen to her talk, and I find myself giving in.
She’s right, I should talk to someone, and if it keeps her with me, I’ll do anything. Cat is my endgame. She’s mine. I won’t let someone take her from me.
“Okay, I will talk to someone,” I tell her, and she instantly relaxes into me with a sigh.
“I’m tired. I’m going to take a shower, then go to bed.” I help her up and give her the space she wants, fighting not to go bend her over the bathroom counter. Maybe in the morning before school.
* * *
I wake up soaked,and I gently nudge Cat. Did she pee the bed? Is this a pregnancy thing? She whimpers in pain, and my eyes shoot open. It’s dark; still the middle of the night. I tap the lamp beside the bed and glance down. Blood. So much blood covers the sheets and the blanket.
“What the fuck,” I shout.
My hands shake, and I gently move Cat. Her face is white as a ghost, and her eyes are filled with pain and fear. I jump from the bed, not caring my boxers are stained red, and pick her up into my arms. She cries out, and I cradle her to my chest, kissing her head.
I don’t say a word. I don’t think I could even speak right now. I slip on some shoes and grab my keys. Placing her in the backseat, I climb in my car and rush to the hospital. I pull in front of the ER, not bothering to park or shut my car off.
When I walk into the lobby, everyone stops and stares at us in horror. I’m shirtless in a pair of boxers and covered in blood. Cat is in a tank top and little pajama shorts with cats on them, with blood running down her thighs.
A nurse rushes over to us and calls a code pink. Two other nurses take her from me and lay her on a stretcher. She won’t let my hand go.
“Rex,” she whispers, and I’m about to break. She looks so weak, helpless.
“She’s losing too much blood. We need to get her in an OR stat,” one of them shouts.
“Someone page the doctor,” the other says.
“How far along is she?” a man asks, and I choke out an answer. They take off with her and leave me there to wait, alone.
* * *
“Here, man,”Nick says, handing me my gym bag. I called him and asked if he could bring us a change of clothes once my panic subsided. He sits beside me and waits for me to speak.
“I did this. I flipped out on her, and now she’s fighting for her life,” I say quietly. I’ve been avoiding Cat’s dad and sister, and I don’t need them to hear what I’m saying.
“These things happen, Rex. Did the fight in the library today cause it? I’m not going to sugar coat shit, yeah. It probably did.” I clench my fists and fight not to punch him in the face or myself. I’m shaking with rage and misery.
“She’s asking for you, Mr. Scott,” a nurse tells me, pulling me from my thoughts. I jump up from my chair and follow her to a small private room. She’s awake but still groggy from the surgery. I move over beside her and hold her hand. We don’t talk for a few minutes, just processing everything that happened. I shift to a chair, and she softly cries.
“Maybe this was meant to be,” she whispers, and I shake my head. “Rexley, look at me. I’m lying in a hospital bed, my gown is covered in blood, and you’re still pissed at me for something I didn’t do. How the hell could we bring a baby into our toxicness?” I get onto my knees and kneel before her, I put my head on the bed next to her hand and let all the emotions takeover.
* * *
The wedding is off,and Cat has moved back home. Not that I can blame her. The guilt of what I did still eats away at me hour by hour.
I knock on her door and wait. I need to take a step back and let her breathe, though it kills me to do so. I can’t lose her for good, too, and I feel like I already have. Nicole opens the door and gives me a hug. I still don’t know why Cat covered for my ass. I don’t deserve it. I killed our baby. I’m just like my father. The man I always swore I would never be. Except I’m worse. Cat isn’t some drugged up waste of space like my mother. She’s kind and smart and has a huge heart, with a twisted side I love bringing out of her.
“How are you?” Nicole asks, and I shrug.
“How is she?” I ask. I don’t know what I’m about to walk into right now. Is she still a shell of herself? Has she moved on to the anger stage yet? Am I about to get my head bashed in?
For once in my life, I’m uncertain and scared. I’m scared I really may have fucked everything up this time and lost my girl. My shining light in this darkness that takes over me.
I can’t let her leave me. I won’t let her leave me. She is mine.
“She’s lost, but I think you being here may help,” she says as she shuts the door. I give her a nod and move up the stairs to her room. I don’t bother knocking, but I also don’t barge in. Cracking the door a bit, I look at my kitty. She’s lying in her bed with her childhood stuffy in her arms. There is a movie playing on the TV in the corner, but she seems to be miles away.
“Hey, Kitty,” I say, catching her attention. She sits up against her pillows and pats the spot next to her. I walk closer and pull the box out of my pocket.