That’s what I long to hear. For my mother to hug me and tell me she loves me. That she’ll miss me when I go, and life won’t be the same around here without me.
“Of course I’ll miss you,” she says automatically, sounding like a robot. “But it’s what’s expected. You’re getting married, darling. Aren’t you thrilled?”
I’m scared and nervous and I need her comfort right now, but all she can focus on is how happy I should be.
It’s obvious I’m not happy at all, but she’s either oblivious or she doesn’t want to know what’s really bothering me.
More likely the latter part.
“Perry is a fine young man. He already seems besotted with you.” She smiles and I look away from her, rolling my eyes as I keep pacing.
We’re faking it, and she knows it. Why does she act like this is the real deal between Perry and me?
“From all the society pages showcasing your engagement party, you two look like you’re helplessly in love,” she continues.
I come to a stop once more, glaring at her. “What are you talking about?”
“You haven’t googled yourself? You should.”
Dread settles into my stomach like the heaviest stone. “There are photos from the party? How?”
I don’t recall seeing a photographer there.
“Someone leaked them. One of the guests I assume. There were quite a few characters in attendance I had no idea who they were.” She taps her finger against her lips, momentarily lost in thought. “They’re quite flattering, though. You look lovely. And we were able to move up the engagement announcement to this weekend, thanks to the leak. The society editor was so upset that it happened. She wanted an exclusive, but unfortunately we weren’t able to give it to her. I’ve already promised she’d be the first to know about the birth announcement.”
My jaw drops open. “Birth announcement? Mother, I’m not having sex with that man.”
“Charlotte, please. He’ll be your husband. Of course, you’re having sex with him.”
“No.” I shake my head. “This is a fake marriage, remember?”
“Yes, I remember.” Her voice is droll. “You’ll get to know him. You two will settle into a—comfortable existence.”
That sounds like pure misery.
“I’m not attracted to him.”
That’s a lie. He’s attractive. Every time he touched me, kissed me, I loosened up. I even enjoyed it.
The man can kiss. And he has a way of looking at me, talking to me, as if no one matters. His attention is always one hundred percent for me.
And no one else.
“Darling, he’s a virile, handsome young man with broad shoulders and a pleasant smile. You’ll end up attracted to him. Just let him take the lead. He’ll know what to do.”
Oh my God, she sounds just like Perry when he thought I was a virgin and he told me he’d be gentle.
Please. Maybe I don’t want gentle.
“Maybe he’s not attracted to me. Maybe he’ll never take the lead and I’ll die lonely and heartbroken.” Okay, I’m being a complete drama queen, but what if?
What if Perry is just a really great actor and he doesn’t care about me? The moment we’re married he’ll take off and live his own life, leaving me alone? What then?
What will happen to me?
The unknown. It’s terrifying to contemplate.
“He’s attracted to you. I see it in his eyes, the way he looks at you,” Mother says.