He uses “we” so easily. So carelessly. There’s no way I want to spend Christmas with his family. I’d be awkward and uncomfortable, and I would probably annoy Rhett. I’d have to buy them gifts, and I don’t have much money. In fact, I need to find a job. I can’t live off Savannah’s generosity forever.
“I can’t,” I murmur, hoping he doesn’t ask any questions.
But this is Rhett and he loves to ask questions. “Why? You have plans? Are you going to see your family?”
“
I told you I have no family,” I snap.
“I’m sorry. I, uh, I forgot.” He does a quick subject change. “Listen, I really think we should go out of town for the weekend. We can leave Thursday afternoon and just drive until we get tired and want to stop. Let’s go on an adventure.”
I’m tempted. So tempted.
“Maybe.” I look over at Savannah, who’s gesturing and whispering at me. Frowning, I tilt my head and she mouths, what is he saying?
I hold up my hand in a wait movement and concentrate on Rhett.
“Spending Thanksgiving with my family is overrated. Diane doesn’t even cook the meal. She has the dinner catered every single time. Park will pick a fight and I bet Addie won’t stick around long. She’ll probably end up at Trent’s house and spend the holiday with his family,” he says.
Is it wrong that after hearing him describe the holiday with his family, I kind of want to spend Thanksgiving with the Montgomerys? Because honestly, I have no idea what it’s like to have a real holiday with a real family. It was always just my father and me, and no one else around. I don’t remember what it was like when my mother was still with us. When we were still a complete family.
As every year passed, our so-called holiday celebrations got worse and worse. To the point where I barely acknowledged a holiday when it came upon us, especially Christmas. We didn’t put up a tree or lights or decorations. I didn’t give my father any gifts, and he didn’t give me any either. The most I got was when my friends and I exchanged a little something at school, and that one year when my math teacher felt sorry for me and gave me a tin of Christmas cookies someone else had brought for her.
Depressing, I know.
But I contradict myself too. It’s like the more Rhett tries to convince me, the more resistant I get.
“I feel like you’re running away from your problems,” I tell him.
He’s quiet for a moment, and I know I just offended him. I’m nervous, though this is the right thing to do. Make him mad, get in a fight, force him to end it. Would he really end it that easily? A girl can hope. I can’t keep letting him have little pieces of my heart. Soon he’ll have the entire thing, and then what will I do?
“You should have plenty of experience with that,” he says snottily. “The running away part.”
Whoa. “That was mean.”
“What you said was mean too. Listen, I gotta go. We’ll talk about this later.” He ends the call before I can say another word.
I drop the phone on the coffee table in front of me and sink into the couch with a heavy sigh.
“What happened?” Savannah asks.
“He hung up on me.” I can’t believe he did that, but then again, I can. “I think I pissed him off.”
“I’m guessing you piss him off on a daily basis?” Savannah’s brows are up, like she’s expecting me to agree with her. But I can’t.
“See, that’s the weird thing. I’ve said some pretty awful stuff to him, and he still doesn’t seem to mind. Like, he puts up with me and I’m terrible. Last time we were together, I gave him some big story about how he’s going to end up married to a boring society wife with too much Botox and they’ll have a bunch of brats and he’ll cheat on her on the side. And then I climbed into his lap and it was like what I said to him turned him on. The next thing you know, we’re having sex again,” I explain. I sound like a crazy person.
“Maybe he considers that foreplay?”
I grab a throw pillow and toss it at Savannah, making her laugh. “I don’t understand him.” The moment the words leave my mouth, I hear how sad and almost desperate I sound. It’s embarrassing to admit, but I really do wish I understood Rhett, or what motivates him. He’s so confusing sometimes, but I can guarantee I confuse him too.
“You want me to be honest?” Savannah asks, her voice hesitant.
“Go for it,” I say warily.
“I don’t understand you. You have this guy who’s totally hot, who’s totally rich, and he’s also totally nice. He’s so into you, Jen. You two fuck like bunnies every chance you get, he introduced you to his family—which is freaking huge, let me tell you—yet you keep pushing him away.” Savannah slowly shakes her head. “Don’t be dumb and do something you might regret. Keep this guy around, Jen. He could change your life for the better.”
Savannah doesn’t know my deepest, darkest secret. Once that’s revealed, I’ll be the one changing Rhett’s life. And not in a good way either. And I’m already full of regret. My middle name could be regret, I have so much of it.