“Exactly. And he wasn’t fifteen. He was thirty-nine. Married with a couple of kids. The photos he shared with me were of his oldest son.” My appetite leaves me and I shove the plate away. “I was so humiliated.”
“How did you find out he was a perverted dad looking to get with a little girl?” Crew’s expression is thunderous.
“After the missed meeting, I couldn’t stop crying, and I was so depressed. I stopped talking to him as much, and he kept trying to get me to meet up with him, but I refused. I thought he would just trick me again and not show up. I’m so glad I didn’t go.” A shuddery breath leaves me. “My parents were aware that I was upset, but I wouldn’t tell them anything. My father eventually did a search of my phone and found out about the relationship I had with the boy. He’s the one who discovered who he really was by hiring a private investigator. It was so embarrassing.”
“What happened after that?”
“Turns out the guy talked to other girls my age and even met with a few of them—and raped them.”
“Holy shit.” Crew actually appears surprised.
I nod. “I know. I was lucky. Once that all went down, my parents—my father—went into total protection mode. He wouldn’t let me go anywhere alone. I had to report where I was at all times. They put a tracker on my phone. They wouldn’t let me spend the night at my friends’ houses. I was on complete lockdown,” I explain.
“Sounds awful.”
“It was, and I was so scared all the time. I didn’t trust myself, or my judgment. I was tricked by that guy, and it hurt. My parents made me apply to Lancaster, even though I didn’t want to go there. I wanted to stay with my friends and go to the same high school as they did, but my parents wanted me safe. My father didn’t trust me.”
“Do you feel safe at Lancaster?”
“Lately, no. I was oblivious to what was really going on the last three years, so I guess I did feel safe. Ignorance is bliss, I guess? Right before I turned fifteen, my father came to me, explaining the purity ball and how it works. What it stood for. He wanted me to make a promise to myself, and swear that I wouldn’t get involved sexually with any boy until I got married. I think he was worried I’d make bad decisions I’d end up regretting. Like—before.”
“That’s…kind of heavy,” Crew says. “And you shouldn’t have to pay for that one mistake you made for the rest of your life.”
He’s right. I know he is. “At the time, it was exactly what I needed. What I firmly believed in. I thought I still did, but now…I don’t know.”
Crew frowns. “What do you mean?”
“I’m almost eighteen. And as you already know, I’ve never been kissed. I can’t go through life completely sheltered, can I? I need to experiment. Meet guys. Go on dates. Kiss them. Let them touch me. Right?”