Remmy’s lips graze my forehead, and then he’s pulling us backward, positioning us on the bed with my body draped across his. He doesn’t say anything, and it’s like he knows what I need, like he knows I need his heartbeat beneath my ear.
He soothes me, his hand moving up and down my back with gentle strokes.
“I’ll do this every single night if I have to. If you need me, I’ll be here. I told you earlier…I’ll be whatever you need me to be. I’ll do whatever you need me to do. If all you need is someone to hold you at night, then I’ll be that someone. If you want me only as a friend, I’ll be that for you.”
My chest shakes as I force oxygen into it. I want that…I want all of it, him with me each night, him as mine, and mine alone.
“Would you really?” I whisper, hoping he doesn’t hear me.
“Yes, Jules. I would do anything to make you mine again, and I will, make you mine again. As long as it takes, I’ll wait. I’ll climb whatever mountain I have to, be whoever you need me to be. I’ll do it because you’re worth it Jules, you’re fucking worth it.”
And just like that, I feel whole again. The nightmares will take time to fade, the memory of Cole will always be there, but with Remington’s promise in my heart and wrapped around my soul, I’ll never be alone again.
“I love you.” I’m pretty sure I say inside my head…my eyelids growing heavier and heavier with exhaustion…and just as I’m about to drift off to sleep, I swear I hear him say the words back to me.
“I love you too.”
Chapter Seventeen
Remington
Telling her I loved her was easy, letting the emotions wrap around me even easier. Being with Jules was natural. She owns me, since day one of kindergarten she had carved out a piece of my heart, stealing it and carrying it with her everywhere she went. She lives inside me, just as I live inside of her.
The last two days have been bittersweet. I know what happened with Cole is eating away at her. She’s scared, the nightmares plaguing her at night, hell, even during the day she seems jumpy and on edge. And even though I hate that she feels like this, there’s a selfish part of me that revels in how she is leaning on me to be her everything.
Physically and emotionally, she is leaning on me in every way she can and that’s all I’ve ever wanted in the last three years, was for her to need me like I need her.
She’s slept at my place for the last three nights, the first when she ran over by herself but the last two, she’s called me, and I picked her up. If it were up to me, she would never leave, and I would hold her in my arms every night for the rest of my life, but it’s not up to me and I won’t push her until she’s ready.
“Are you okay?” I ask her, causing her to jump a foot off the bed.
“Oh, yeah…I’m fine.” Her body trembles and I know she’s lying. She’s been lying this whole time, and I’ve just been too big of a pussy to confront her but watching her jump at something as simple as a question angers me.
I can’t bear to see her lie to me anymore. I need to know what’s going on, to know if it’s just the dreams plaguing her or if there is something deeper going on.
“Really? You jumped a foot off the bed because I asked you if you were okay?” I keep my voice gentle and sit down next to her.
She scrunches up her nose. “It’s just the nightmares, that’s all.”
“And what are they about?”
Panic fills her eyes, and when she blinks, it’s gone. “I don’t want to talk about it, okay? I just want to forget about my bad dreams,” she tells me, twisting her body toward mine and slinging her leg over mine so she is straddling me. I know she’s trying to distract me and fuck, it’s working.
The last three nights, I did nothing but hold her in my arms. I told my dick over and over again to calm the fuck down which has worked so far but now she’s straddling me, grinding her hips, pressing her center into my lap, making her pussy rub against my steel hard cock, and being a man, well all rational thinking flies out the window.
“Jules…we should really—”
She cuts me off, her lips crashing into mine, making me forget everything I just wanted to say. Fuck, she knows exactly what she is doing. She snakes her arms around my neck, pulling me closer. And fuck, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t want to rip off her clothes and fuck her senseless.