Rob relaxed in his hold, knowing Neil wanted to take over. Neil fucked his mouth, strokes steady at first before picking up speed. Unable to help himself, Rob imagined how Neil’s cock would feel like, stretching his ass, claiming the territory that rightfully belonged to him.
Once they started, they couldn’t stop and Rob didn’t want to. He missed this. Hell, Rob missed everything about Neil. He wanted to spend the rest of his life reacquainting himself with every nook and cranny of Neil’s body, even though they knew every inch of each other better than they knew themselves.
With a growl, Neil pushed his dick into Rob’s waiting mouth one more time before finally exploding. Rob closed his mouth over Neil’s softening prick, swallowing down his cum and not spilling a drop.
“Fuck, I missed that,” Neil said.
Rob raised his head from Neil’s lap and licked his lips. “Yummy.”
Neil zipped up his jeans. “Get out.”
Blinking, Rob couldn’t speak. Emotions raged inside him into an unrecognizable mess. “What?”
“We can’t do this here, in the back of my car. I can’t fuck you like this.”
Relieved Neil wasn’t sending him away or changing his mind, Rob nodded. “Where then?”
“Where else?” Neil opened the door and Rob understood.
Of course, it was only appropriate to retrace their steps to where it had all started. Home, or at least the house they’d grown up in. Rob rode shotgun and took off his jacket. Neil did the same.
“Are you sure?” Rob had to ask.
He knew Neil swore he’d never return to that house. With their father buried out back, his mother never wanted to move. Clarissa had demanded that she live and die in the house she and her husband had bought together.
“Yeah, I’m sure.” Neil started the engine.
Rob shook his head and joked to diffuse the tension. “Hear that roar. So sexy.”
“So are you.”
Color rose to Rob’s cheeks. He wasn’t a shy guy by any means, but only Neil could make him feel self-conscious.
“Tell me how she died.”
Rob did, although there wasn’t much to tell. Neil professed he didn’t give a damn about Clarissa, but Rob knew better. Neil cared for her in his own way. They both needed the distraction, the simple act of talking to unburden their souls of everything weighing them down. For Neil, talking served as a distraction from returning to the place of nightmares and for Rob, to forget about his grief.
“I woke up one morning to discover she wasn’t breathing. She died exactly the way she wanted, in the bed she and Dad once shared. Morbid, isn’t it?”
“Appropriate.”
“Why do you say that?”
Neil barked out a harsh laugh. “We never saved her, Rob. When Dad died, he took a piece of her with him to the grave.”
Rob had a come back ready, but why defend his mother when Neil had only stated what he’d known for a while? He could remember that one awful moment that had scarred both of them for life—Clarissa’s hate-filled eyes that silently begged him to end her too and Neil, who was forced to take charge and be an adult. Rob might have pulled the trigger, but those he loved had paid the toll for his sin.
“I guess you’re right.”
Awkward silence filled the tiny space. Tension racketed. The ache inside Rob grew worse. He shut his eyes, remembering.
Once upon a time, they hadn’t needed words. When a storm had raged outside their window and when their parents tried to drown out the noise of the wind using their own voices, Rob would clamber down his bunk. He’d nestle himself beside Neil, comforted by his warm body and embrace. Neil’s presence, his warm breath against Rob’s neck and the even rise and fall of his chest had the power to render the rest of the world insignificant, mute.
No words were required. They clung to each other, knowing that all they needed was each other.
For so long, Rob had suppressed his desires. Told himself it was better to keep his distance. His mother and the rest of the world said it was wrong for him to love Neil, but now, no one decided the rules but them.
Neil pulled into the driveway of their old house.