“Huh. I thought it would look different somehow, but everything’s the same.”
Rob reached out, peeling Neil’s cold fingers from the wheel and raised them to his lips. He blew at them until Neil’s flesh warmed.
“Nothing’s the same.”
Neil grabbed the back of his neck for a bruising kiss, as if he needed a reminder Rob was within easy reach and finally his to take. Without another word, Neil released him and got out of the car. Rob followed, raising his head to taste the droplets on his lips. Rainwater and Neil, he mused, tasted amazing.
“Rain’s a good sign,” Rob told Neil. They walked to the front door together, just like old times when they would come back from school. God, every inch of this house contained memories, joyful ones and painful ones. He put the key in, comforted by the feel of Neil’s hand, stroking his spine.
“Why’s that?”
“Water cleanses. Helps us forget.”
Neil nipped at his ear lobe. “I don’t want to forget. I can’t.”
“Neither can I.” Rob shut the door behind him.
They stared at each other for a couple of seconds.
Neil growled. “Take off those clothes, or you’ll catch a cold.”
Rob’s lips lifted to a smile. The years had changed them, turned them from two damaged boys into two scarred men. Underneath it all, the core remained the same. Neil would forgive him for the lost years, like Rob knew he would. And Rob? He’d make sure he spent every waking moment showing Neil how much his love and sacrifice meant to him—everything.
“Are you saying those words to get me naked?”
“Do it, or I’ll rip them off you myself.”
God. Rob loved it when Neil took control.
“Catch me first.” Rob sprinted past Neil, slapping away his arm to run up the flight of stairs.
Old ghosts had chased Rob here, especially when Neil left. He’d feared once Clarissa joined Don in death, he’d start seeing her, too. Tonight, the old house remained quiet, save for the rain hammering on the rooftops and Neil and his footsteps thudding on the hardwood floors.
Rob almost made it past their old room when strong arms wrapped around his waist. Panting from the exercise, he leaned against Neil and waited for Neil to take in the changes he’d made over the years. The bunk bed—gone, and a king-sized bed in its place, but Rob had kept old reminders of Neil.
“You kept my posters,” Neil said, sounding stunned.
Freeing Rob from his embrace, Neil walked around the space and occasionally reached out to touch surfaces, the spines of books and the baubles Rob had collected over the years.
“Good thing you’ve gotten rid of the old bunk bed.”
“I didn’t want to, but it’s strange for an adult man to sleep in a bunk bed.” Clarissa had bugged him for ages to get rid of the thing. Rob stubbornly refused, because that bed reminded him too much of special moments, like the first time he’d snuck to Neil’s side and the first time they’d made love.
“And this new bed, how many men have you brought back here?” Jealousy coated Neil’s voice, but Rob couldn’t blame him.
Rob didn’t rise to the bait. Everyone had needs. He knew Neil resorted to one-night-stands and random hook-ups just like he did. Turning on his heel, Neil pushed him against the bed. Fear and excitement crawled down Rob’s spine. Neil would never hurt him, not then and certainly not now.
“Tell me the truth.”
“I’ve always slept alone.”
“Liar.”
“Why would I lie to you? Do you think I’d bring some random stranger here, with Clarissa next door?” Rob let out a mirthless laugh. He fingered the sheets. They were pure black, like his grief. “Never mind the fact she knew about you, about us, but she always hated the fact I was gay. She kept pushing so many girls at me, setting up dates, but she eventually stopped.”
Guilt crossed Neil’s features. “I’m sorry.”
Rob looked him in the eye. “You left. What did you expect?”