I don’t want to need him, them, but I can’t help it. I’m weak, weak for the one thing I shouldn’t want, the enemy.
Surprising me further with his actions, he steps closer and snakes an arm around me. Holding me close to his side, he gently starts to guide me back to the dorms. My steps are still unsure but with him by my side, steadying me, my legs seem to do just fine. The walk to the dorms isn’t a long one, but today it feels like it’s taking forever. Which I don’t mind, not when it gives me more time with Sullivan.
Sullivan doesn’t say anything, and neither do I. Instead I inhale his intoxicating scent that’s wrapping around me like a blanket, sheltering me from the cold. Having him this close after everything that happened, his hands on me, his body close enough for me to feel the heat rippling off of it, it feels like heaven, like a healing balm against a wound. My vision blurs, and big fat tears start to fall from my eyes streaking down my cheeks. Crying is weak, but I’m exhausted, tired of barely holding it together.
We reach the dorms, and Sullivan starts to pull away, but I can’t let him, for some strange reason I can’t. Turning I wrap, both arms around his middle and press my face into his chest. He feels like him, and as stupid as that is to think I know he’s the only thing that makes sense right now.
“Harlow,” he whispers, pressing against my shoulders gently. I should have known he would still react with anger, with venomous rage. He peels me off his chest, holding me at arm’s length. He doesn’t want you idiot, stop throwing yourself at him. Let him go.
“I’m… I’m sorry…” I stutter, keeping my eyes on his chest, my head hung in shame so that he can’t see how heartbroken I am, how lost I am without him and his brothers.
His hand comes into view, and then he’s placing it beneath my chin forcing me to look up at him. With a heavy heart I let our gazes collide. God, he is handsome, like a Greek god, and GQ magazine model had a baby together. That jaw of his is clenched tight, and I itch to trace the sharp contours of his face. The tension in his face seems to ease away, and his gaze softens as he takes in my tear streaked cheeks.
“Do you want to stay here, or do you want to come with me?”
“Come with you?” I question, confused.
“Yes, with me, to the house?” His thumb brushes across my bottom lip. The touch caresses something deep inside me, something primal, and something that’s waiting to bloom and break free. I can’t explain it, but I feel it.
“You still want me?” How the words manage to slip past my lips I don’t know.
Sullivan’s blue eyes flicker with heat, “Want isn’t exactly the word I would use. We need you, just like you need us. The way you’re acting is how Oliver, Banks, and I have been acting since your parents showed up.”
“But they hate me,” I croak, my throat aching.
Sullivan shakes his head, “Come with me, at least for tonight.”
I should say no, walk into my dorm, and go lay down in my bed alone, forever alone, but I can’t. Physically, emotionally I can’t, and I don’t want to. I need them, just as they need me.
“Will you tell them it wasn’t me, that I didn’t call my parents? Will you help me make them understand?” I ask.
Something swirls in his eyes, and I can’t pinpoint the emotion.
“You believe me, right?” The air deflates from my lungs as I wait for his response. I watch his Adam’s apple as he swallows.
“Yes, Harlow. I believe you, now let’s go. I’ll talk to my brothers, get them back on team Harlow.” Brushing his arm away I wrap myself around his middle again, holding onto him tightly, just to make sure this is real and not some sick dream.
“You’re okay now, everything is okay.” Sullivan whispers, a hand smoothing down my back. I squeeze my eyes shut and relish in his words.
It isn’t okay, not yet, but it will be soon.
Chapter Fourteen
I fall asleep on the way to the Bishop residence, my side snuggled into the door of Sullivan’s jeep. My eyes blink open as the car comes to a stop. It takes me a moment to realize we’ve arrived at the house. I’m beyond exhausted, my life is officially falling apart, and all I want to do is crawl under a rock and hide from the entire world. I stare at the monster of a house in front of me through the windshield. I’m worried. Afraid of how Oliver and Banks are going to react when they see me walk through that front door.