I instinctually tensed. Not a fan of personal questions. “You can ask.” My tone implied I might not answer.
“How long has it been? Since you had sex?”
My cheeks heated as I snorted at the blunt query. “Nosy much?”
“Yes.”
That made me laugh, and I shot her an affectionate smile.
Regan’s shoulders seemed to drop as if she was tense over asking too.
“Let’s put it this way,” I answered. “I’ve only had sex with people I’m in a relationship with, and I haven’t been in a relationship since before coming to Ardnoch eight years ago.”
“That’s a long time not to enjoy intimacy. Affection.”
“I’m aware.” I stomped down toward the loch, not needing her to point out something miserable about my life that I was fully aware of.
“I’m not judging.”
“Really?”
Regan drew to a stop beside me on the banks of the loch. It wasn’t a particularly sunny day; the water reflected the light gray clouds above our heads. But it lapped gently at the shore, and birds cawed and tweeted among the trees. I closed my eyes, listening.
But then Regan broke my meditative state. “Of course, I’m not judging you. You know I’m not that person. I’m just … I don’t … I want you to have all the things. You deserve all the things.”
I opened my eyes and met her worried gaze and softened. I knew Regan and all the Adairs cared about me, about my happiness. “Thank you.”
“Have you ever considered casual sex? You know, just to take the edge off?”
“I can take the edge off on my own, thank you very much.”
She laughed. “Good. I’m glad. You know, until Thane, I probably had better sex with myself, anyway.”
I chuckled. “I’m so happy for you he came along, then.”
“Yeah, me too. But I’m exaggerating. I had casual sex before Thane, and it was good. I mean, it wasn’t the mind-blowing sex he and I have, but it was fun.”
“Don’t let him hear you say that,” I joked.
“He knows he’s the best I’ve ever had.”
“I’m pleased for you. Truly.” I was also envious as hell. “But your point?”
“My point is that you’re a beautiful, smart, fun woman in her prime, and if you want to have sex with someone, you should absolutely have sex with them. Casual sex is not against the law.”
“Regan, I know you mean well, but I am a grown-ass woman, and I know casual sex is not against the law or taboo or wrong. I just … I need to trust the person I’m in bed with, and I would need to trust that person to not want to make it into something more than sex. That’s an impossible combination.”
“Not impossible.” Regan stared at me with an unnerving, knowing look. “In fact, I’m certain we both know someone who fits the bill perfectly.”
I shook my head as I realized what all this was about. Remembering she’d set it up so Arran and I babysat the kids together, I sighed. “Whatever you do, do not take up matchmaking. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.”
“I’m not playing matchmaker.” She shrugged innocently. “I’m just putting thoughts out there. It’s up to other people whether they listen to those thoughts.”
“Yeah?” I smirked. “Well, why don’t you close your eyes and listen to what’s around us right now? You’ll thank me for it.” I closed my eyes and hoped she’d follow my lead.
Thankfully, she did.
She’d said what she wanted to say, so she didn’t mention it again.
Instead, we enjoyed the quiet of the loch. As we hiked back to the car later, she chatted away about wedding plans.
What I didn’t tell her was that she got me thinking.
I’d already been obsessing over Arran.
Now … I couldn’t stop imagining what it might be like to be with him.
Just one night.
Scratch the itch and be done with it so I could stop driving myself crazy thinking about it.
As if Arran heard me, my phone beeped in the side pocket of my yoga pants as we reached my car.
Meet me for a late lunch at An Sealladh in half an hour?
* * *
After I dropped Regan back at home, I drove to An Sealladh just in time to meet Arran for a late lunch. The restaurant parking lot was busy, and upon walking in, I found the place full of tourists.
Arran had texted he was already here under his surname, so I asked the hostess and she led me toward the front area that had the most spectacular views of the North Sea. An Sealladh was actually the first place I’d spent any real time with Arran. We’d gone to lunch with Arro, and he flirted outrageously with me, despite Arro’s presence, and I actually enjoyed myself. Until later that day when we discovered someone had graffitied Arro’s car, and that someone turned out to be her ex-boyfriend who was now in jail for trying to kill her.