He was always my greatest defender, too, smoothing over the tension between me and Lachlan who acted more like a father to me than our dad ever had. I’d actually feared Lachlan’s disappointment more than our dad’s.
And it seemed I was always disappointing him.
I’d only disappointed Brodan once, but he’d gotten over that.
He was always picking up my pieces.
Even now.
It humbled me more than it ever had.
I probably never would have gotten up off that beach and walked away from that life if anyone but Brodan had asked.
Still, as I followed my brother, I glanced back toward the water and swore I heard Colin calling my name as I abandoned him once more.
“Arran?” Lachlan cut through the memories. His hand clamped onto my shoulder. “You’ve got me worried.”
I blinked rapidly and shot him a smirk. “Not an unfamiliar feeling, I’m sure.”
He sighed. “Aye, once upon a time, I worried constantly about you. But you’ve been different since you’ve been home. You’re a man now. A man I’m proud to call my brother.”
Emotion thickened my throat.
“But something has been bothering you these past few weeks, and tonight, you look as wrecked as I feel.”
The truth, the confession, rose inside me as I looked into my brother’s eyes. Everyone always said I was Lachlan’s spitting image, just a younger version. Despite his own turmoil, he had always been our patriarch, even when Dad was alive. Lachlan was our anchor. I wanted to tell him, but his words of pride made the confession stick inside me.
Looking away, I shook my head. “I’m okay.”
I think I disappointed him with the lie we both knew I’d just told.
Yet we said no more.
Just passed that whisky between us until the world tilted back and forth like the bow of a ship on rough waters.
10
EREDINE
Once I’d made it obvious to Jared McCulloch that I wasn’t interested in anything but a dance, he left me with a regretful smile that lasted two point four seconds before he zeroed in on someone else.
That there was a player.
I looked around the packed hall, amazed that most of Ardnoch seemed to turn out for the anniversary ceilidh every year. This was a tight community, and overall a good one. The Highlands was one of the Whitest places I’d ever been, and Ardnoch was no exception. Suveer Siddiqui, who owned the Chocolate Box with his wife Moira, was here tonight with their two teenage children and some extended family. Chen and Wang Lei, who owned Ardnoch’s Chinese restaurant, were also here. And me. That was it. Everyone else was White.
Of course, the village grew a little more diverse when the tourists arrived en masse during the summer months. But the glaring fact that there were only two non-White families living in Ardnoch unnerved me my first few months here. I’d found it isolating. The estate was a little better, now that Hollywood had made strides to become more inclusive, but it was still pretty White.
For a long time, I’d kept waiting for someone to point it out, make me feel like an outsider or less than, but eventually, I realized Ardnoch was filled with good people. If anyone was a racist asshole, they were keeping it to themselves. A few years ago at the anniversary ceilidh, a woman around my age whom I knew worked as a teacher at the primary school asked to touch my hair, but that was as bad as it had gotten for me here. Worse had happened in Inverness, but thankfully, I tended to stick around our neck of the woods.
Villagers smiled and nodded hello as they shuffled past, and I smiled back, trying my very best not to look like I was searching for Arran.
But I was. I’d been aware of his every movement, and he disappeared a while ago.
Then Robyn approached to ask if I’d seen Lachlan, and hearing the concern in her tone, I inquired of the rest of the family if anyone knew where the brothers had gone.
No one did.
Something was wrong with them. Arran had been off all week, and Lachlan had been so broody tonight, he reminded me of the pre-Robyn Lachlan.
“Not in the bar,” Mac said as he and Thane approached us, looking harassed.
“Regan and I need to get the kids home,” Thane said, brow furrowed. “Will you let us know when you find them?”
We agreed while Robyn and I exchanged a look. Hers was definitely more pissed off than mine. Thane and Regan left with the kids to wait in the car for Arran, and Mac offered to check out back. He gave Arro a quick kiss before he disappeared through the crowd.
Just as I saw Mac returning, head and shoulders above mostly everyone else here, Thane marched back into the hall. His expression was hard to decipher, but I think pissed was close to correct.