He doesn’t say a word.
He could, but he’s choosing not to.
He’s giving me the answers, I don’t have to ask him for them.
We drive for a solid two hours before I finally see the city. Where the hell did he have me? My stomach twists at the idea of going home. I’ve wanted it for so long, so why does it hurt so much? When we pull up at my apartment complex, it doesn’t surprise me that he knows where I live. He hands me my handbag and I gasp.
“You had this the whole time?”
“Of course I fuckin’ did.”
He pulls out my phone and thrusts it at me. “My number is in there, if anyone bothers you or anything happens, call me. You’re not completely safe until I get rid of Manchez. You tell the police anything, I’ll come for you.”
His words are like a knife to the heart.
He is threatening me.
On our last encounter, he’s threatening me.
“Are we clear?” he grinds out, glaring at me.
“Are you done?” I snap.
I pull the phone from his hand, and his fingers graze mine. I look up and meet his gaze. I wait—part of me hoping he will say something and break this awful silence—but he simply turns and stares out the front.
“Remember what I said.”
“That’s it?” I whisper.
“What more do you fuckin’ want from me? You were my captive. Nothing more. A bargaining chip. I’ve got what I want. I’m holding up my end of the deal, now get the fuck out of my car.”
I nod, swallowing, and step out of the car. He plants his foot down as soon as I’ve shut the door, and angry tears course down my face. It’s over. It’s all over. What will I do now? How can I possibly ever be normal again?
Why is my heart breaking so badly that I want to turn and beg him to take me back?
Why doesn’t freedom feel good?
What is wrong with me?
I’LL NEVER FORGET AVA’S face when she opens the door to see me standing pitifully on the doorstep. She screams, and then crumbles with me in her arms to the floor where we sob and cling to each other for so long my legs go numb. I know how worried she must have been, I know she probably blames herself. When we get inside, she shuts the door and helps me sit on the couch.
“I’m dreaming, I must be dreaming. This can’t be real? You’re here. How are you here?”
She strokes my face and sobs incoherently, until I soothe her by assuring her that I’m okay. How strange, I’m soothing her.
“What happened?” she finally manages, swiping away her tears.
Lying isn’t in my nature, so I tell her everything, from start to finish. By the time I’m done, she’s sobbing again and wrapping her arms around herself, as if that’ll make the pain go away. It won’t, I’ve tried it.
“You need to contact the police, we need to go in there right now.”
“No,” I say firmly, my voice unwavering. “If you call them, I will lie. I will deny it. I will do everything in my power to make sure they never find him. Don’t call them Ava, promise me.”
Her eyes widen. “He kidnapped you, you were abused, he needs to go to prison for a very fucking long time.”
“It wasn’t so bad,” I say, exhausted, tired, my body just so damned numb. “For a while, it was, but in the end it was like I lived there. He let me go. He promised he would and he did.”
“Oh, God,” she whispers, shaking her head. “You care about him, don’t you?”
I look away, feeling my bottom lip tremble. Hearing her say those words out loud makes everything inside me feel that much more real.
“Oh, Willow, it’s not real. You know that, right? It’s fake emotions because he was your light in a dark time. Honey, it’s not real.”
“I know what’s real and what’s not,” I croak through my brewing tears. “He didn’t hurt me.”
“No, he just took you to a place and let everyone else hurt you.”
I swallow the lump in my throat. “You don’t understand, it could have been so much worse for me.”
“How?” she snaps, and then closes her eyes to gather her composure.
“If the other gang had been the ones to take me, I wouldn’t be sitting here right now. He let me go, Ava. He promised he would and he did.”
“What about now? You could be in danger.”
I cover my face and sigh. “Ava, the gang have no reason to come anywhere near me now. They want what Jagger has. They will go after him to get it, not me.”
“Willow ...”
“If anyone is to blame here, it’s my father,” I spew out, waving my hands, frustration bubbling in my chest.
I don’t want to explain myself.